21 Puns So Bad You Can't Help But Laugh At Them
Apologies in advance for this punishment.
How much does a hipster weigh? An Instagram.
Why couldn't the skeleton share the bad news? He didn’t have the heart.
Heterosexual Person: *Murders somebody and goes to hell* Satan: Damned straight!
I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
How to defeat your enemies: Chop off their feet.
Deja-moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.
Are cats empathetic because they’re feel-ines?
Her: I'm leaving you. Me: Because of the ancient Roman literature puns? Her: Yah. Me: But Aeneid you.
I’m always on time with my jokes. I guess you could say I’m pretty pun-ctual.
A hand-stitched, talking bear trying to fit in with society. And his name is Seams Legit.
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
What do you call a poem that’s an ode to your arms and legs? A limerick.
Ruler loved his friend Abacus because he knew he could always count on him.
You know what’d be hilarious? If someone was a world-class thief and their alias was Robin Banks.
If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man teamed up, they’d be alloys.
I’m emotionally constipated. I haven’t given in a shit for years.
Can I Slytherin to your Chamber of Secrets? Nice try, but my Gryffindor isn’t opening.
What does a Trap Queen eat after a long day? Fettyccine Alfredo.
What did the skull say to the bone protecting the spinal cord? I’ll keep you safe, vertebae.
How much sex do Catholic priests get? Nun at all.
What do stoners have on their beds? Kushions!
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