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1. A box of pore-tightening, skin-lifting face masks that'll truly terrify you, first because you'll look like a zombie once you've applied it, and second because it's so darn effective at reducing the appearance of wrinkles.
2. A lasagna trio pan to help you prepare meals for everyone, regardless of their dietary restrictions. Mamma mia! *insert chef finger kiss*
3. A dog shampoo to reduce shedding that'll be a godsend if you can't accept a future where almost every inch of your floors and furniture are covered in dog hair. Deshedding shampoos work by hydrating a dog's coat with moisturizers and essential omega fatty acids that make the hair less brittle, dry, and likely to fall out = less shedding.
4. An Etude House drying powder to help control your skin's oil production and keep your face from looking greasy. You can also apply it to your hair (make sure you dust off the residue) so your roots look freshly washed.
5. A set of eco-friendly cleaning cloths so you can wipe away messes with just water. That's right, these bad boys are tough on stains are are designed to wipe away dirt, dust, stains, mysterious liquids, and grime without you ever having to use the harsh chemicals.
6. A peeling solution if you have textured skin and fine lines. This resurfaces your skin with a mixture of glycolic, lactic, and salicylic acid. (The first two are alpha hydroxy acids (AHAs) that exfoliate the skin's outer layer while the last one, a beta hydroxy acid (BHA), reduces pore congestion).
7. A jewelry-cleaning pen that'll make your jewels sparkle.
8. A pack of stain-removing pads because owning a pet = a lot of messes. Pee? Check! Poop? Check! Vomit? Check! (You can even use them to clean up your wine spills.)
9. A cookbook filled with recipes you can make *at home* with ingredients that are *already in your pantry* if your bank account is asking, nay shouting, at you to stop ordering takeout.
10. A tub of brightening, firming, and rejuvenating eye cream so you at least look like you got some sleep (even if you were up until 2 a.m. scrolling through Instagram).
11. A pet hair remover if you're tired of getting fur all over their clothes. Roll it over your couch, bed, favorite blanket, you name it, and watch it lift the fur away. See, we can own nice things!!
12. A lightweight primer so you can apply your makeup to a smooth, even surface and have it stay all day. It's made with green tea extract and collagen to protect and moisturize the skin.
13. A white puzzle for anyone who enjoys making things harder than they need to be. Good luck once you connect all the edge pieces!
14. A cruelty-free lengthening mascara if you dream that your usually sad, stick-straight lashes would one day hold a voluminous curl. It's lightweight, won't transfer, doesn't smudge, and lasts all day — what more could you ask for?
15. And once you've applied mascara, a Tweezerman eyelash comb for separating each and every individual hair so your lashes are fluttery and clump-free.
16. A heavy duty alarm clock that literally shakes the bed because even the heaviest sleeper wouldn't miss its 113-decibel scream. (This is the equivalent of a live rock concert taking place the bedroom.)
17. A multi-use skincare oil to treat a variety of issues, including uneven skin, stretch marks, and acne scars. It helps your body retain moisture (bye bye dry skin!) and absorbs into the skin fast so you won't feel greasy.
18. An immunity-boosting allergy supplement for dogs with skin sensitivities. These soft chews deliver a dose of probiotics and other nutrients to help improve immune function, aide digestion, promote healthy skin, and add shine to a dog's coat.
19. An acne patch because pimples always pop up at the *worst* possible moment. Hydrocolloid, tea tree oil, and calendula oil are gentle on the skin while still drawing out fluids and pus from your pimple.
20. An at-home teeth whitening kit to lighten your smile sans the exorbitant dentist bill. This set comes with a comfortable custom fit tray and an LED light so you can chill with your favorite show while your teeth whiten. If you use it consistently, you can expect a set of pearly whites that are two to eight shades whiter than before.
21. A drill brush kit with three different heads if you gave up on baths a long time ago because getting your tub sparkly clean didn't feel possible. No more furiously scrubbing your tub; instead, just attach the brush head and flip the switch on your drill. Why work harder when you could work smarter?
22. A tonsil stone remover so you can *finally* treat the root cause of your bad breath. This tool has a built-in LED light so you can easily locate the tonsil stone. Plus it also comes with a syringe to help you wash out the pocket the tonsil stone left behind.
23. An interactive cat toy to appease your furry overlord and entertain them for hours. It'll quickly replace the bin full of other playthings you've bought your kitty over the years...and that they now won't even look at.
24. A natural stain remover spray for lifting grass, blood, sweat, pasta sauce, oil, makeup, pet accidents, dirt, you name it. Plus, it's safe to use on cloths (including silk), carpets, cloth diapers, and other washable materials.
25. A Hoover carpet cleaner that's both a vacuum and a carpet steamer so you don't have to lug out two heavy machines every time your pet has an accident.
26. A blind cleaner brush, because who has time to clean each blind individually? Not you!
27. A truly ~egg-celent~ rapid egg cooker so you can enjoy omelets (or poached, soft-, medium-, or hard-boiled eggies) without ever having to dirty a pan. Reviewers even use it to steam frozen dumplings!
28. A conditioner with argan and jojoba oils that'll transform your dry, lifeless, frizzy, flat hair so you can stop hiding it under a beanie.
29. A zipper repair kit to save you when you least expect it. Better stock up now or risk breaking the zipper on your jacket in bone-chilling winds or buckets of rain.
The only thing better than five stars?
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