Listen, choosing to have a child can be a beautiful, life-changing experience, but it can also mean that everyone within a five-mile radius suddenly feels that it's open season to bombard pregnant people with inappropriate questions, half-baked advice, or just downright rude statements.
We asked the BuzzFeed Community, "What's the worst, weirdest, or most unsolicited piece of advice someone gave you while you were pregnant?" Here are some of the best responses:
1. "When I was pregnant with our first, I was asked, 'So are you going to have any more?' Let me get this one out first lady, geez."
2. "Everybody always felt the need to tell me their horrific birth experiences. Everyone. Friends, family, the random lady in the grocery store, everyone. I planned to have a home birth and if I ever mentioned it, I was always told I was going to regret my choice and beg for the epidural. No, I did not regret my choice Barbra, I had TWO home births (each baby was well over 10 pounds) and I would do it again!"
—Anonymous, 28, Virginia
3. "From a male stranger in the street: 'Has your milk come in yet?' Ewwww!"
4. "I'm in my second trimester, and at 25 weeks just starting to show in a way that makes it clear I'm pregnant. Before that, I was super insecure about my small baby bump. People would say things like 'Wow, you don't look pregnant, you look like you just had a big meal!' or, 'Oh please, my belly is bigger than that and I'm not even pregnant.' I think they were trying to be complimentary but it made me feel really guilty and worried."
5. "I was heavily pregnant and was having lunch with my mum, I was approached by a random male who said to me 'Does that baby need a daddy?' No mate, happily married."
6. "I got in the elevator at my work and a lady from a different department I've never seen before got in with me. As the doors closed, she noticed that I was pregnant and asked the gender. I said 'It's a girl' and without pausing, she just started in on a rant about how if it was a boy, then I should definitely circumcise him and all her boys were circumcised and she's so glad she did it and listed all the benefits. I stared at her in bewilderment and as the elevator doors started opening again I just said, 'Yeah, but I'm having a girl.' She very perkily quipped, 'Yeah! But now you'll know to circumcise if the next one is a boy!' And she strolled out. I've never seen her again. And no, it would not have been any of her business or well-received if I had been having a boy. Don't tell me what to do with my hypothetical children's genitals."
7. "I got married when I was six months pregnant. The wedding was planned before the pregnancy and I still fit into my original dress, as I had a small bump. After the ceremony, my stepfather said, 'Are you really going to wear that all day?' You look massive.' Wow. When I look back at my wedding photos, my bump is barely noticeable! And if it was huge, I wouldn't have cared either. Rude!"
8. "I had a lady tell me that I better plan to breastfeed, then began to go into detail about how I need to stimulate my nipples. Her granddaughter was breastfed and she knew nine languages, so it’s proven that breastfeeding will increase your baby's intelligence. I had no idea how to respond to this woman."
—Anonymous, 29, Washington
9. "My coworker many years ago: 'Are you excited about the baby being a boy?' Me: 'Yes, but more excited that he’s healthy!' Her: 'Have you thought about the fact there’s always a penis inside your body?' Me: 'What the French toast?!'"
10. "My mom went into labor while she was with her father-in-law. As she was leaving for the hospital he said, 'Try to have a boy.'"
11. "'Don't raise your arms above your head, because it can cause the umbilical cord to wrap around the baby and strangle it.' It was a really great thing to say to a first-time mom."
—Anonymous, 30, New Jersey
12. "Every time I would talk to my grandma she would do two things: Ask me how much weight I had gained, and tell me stories about women who had miscarriages. I have not spoken to her during my second pregnancy."
13. "I was told not to have a bath when I was pregnant as I would drown the baby!"
14. "My husband and I walked into a furniture store when I was about 37 weeks pregnant with our first child. The male sales associate decided it would be appropriate to greet us by asking me if I had just come from the buffet. Needless to say, I was not amused, and afterward, he followed us around the store kissing my ass as we proceeded to buy absolutely nothing."
15. "'Is the father still in the picture?' As a pickup line. This happened a weird amount of times."
16. "A man pointed to his larger stomach and said, 'I have one of those too'"
—Anonymous, 50, USA
17. "When I was pregnant with my first, a coworker asked about my morning sickness. When I told her I hadn’t really had any, she proceeded to tell me that meant that my baby wasn’t strongly attached to my uterus. It panicked me for a bit before I realized that none of that was true. Why say that to a new mom?!"
—Anonymous, 32, Indiana
18. "Not me but my mom: While she was pregnant with me and my twin brother, a relative of my dad asked my mom if she and her husband could 'have the other one, cause you don't need two' while my mom was six months pregnant. To make matters worse, she wasn't joking, and even went as far as showing up at the hospital while my mom was undergoing a C-section to 'Pick one out.'
19. "A woman I didn’t know and had never seen before literally ran up to me when I was waiting for the lift at work, pointed at my bump, and shouted, 'That’s a boy, that is! That’s a boy!' and ran off again. I gave birth to my daughter six weeks later. This lady was on the phone at the time and still went to the effort of chasing down a stranger to wrongly declare the sex of an unborn baby based on old wives’ tales about carrying a bump high or low. Crazy."
20. "When announcing my pregnancy to extended family, my cousin, without children, started going on and on about why I should have a natural birth…'Congratulations' would have sufficed."
—Anonymous, 29, CA
21. "I had an eye checkup while pregnant with my first child. My eye doctor, who is a father, compared babies to parasites within the womb, as they consume all of the nutrients from the mother via the umbilical cord without providing anything in return. I mean, I could see what he was saying, but it was a dark/weird comparison."
22. "I have quite a few but the weirdest would be when I was at the dentist, heavily pregnant, and the hygienist proceeding to discuss the importance of vaginal stretching pre-delivery. In detail. How his wife had done so with her pregnancies and no tearing! I didn’t tell him I was having a planned c-section. It was my first time meeting him as well."
23. "I worked in bourbon tourism while pregnant. On multiple occasions, people said, 'That’s what happens when you have too much bourbon!' I also got 'You know how that happens, right?' a handful of times. I had to just smile, but I couldn’t wait to go home and complain to my husband."
—Anonymous, 31, Kentucky, USA
24. "With my baby boy, the only thing I remember someone saying that didn't really weird me out but more so annoyed me was a relative of my boyfriend's telling us to not allow any of the vaccines given to babies at birth and even sent my boyfriend a link to an article about the risks of these vaccines. I didn't say anything, I just shrugged it off. My sweet boy got his shots and was perfectly fine."
25. "My husband and I have tried for a few years and had two miscarriages in one year. I was six months pregnant on my husband's 38th birthday and my mom said, About time you start having a family.' referencing him getting older. And yeah, she was well aware of the previous two miscarriages that were wanted babies."
26. "I would get people, mostly men, asking to rub my belly for luck."
27. "'You've had a good pregnancy? That means you'll have a bad birth!' This was said in a jovial way by a family member. They meant no malice, but still! Also, it turns out they were wrong; I had a brilliant, planned c-section birth."
—Anonymous, 39, Folkestone, UK.
28. "That I needed to eat more, more than I wanted. They would not take 'I'm full' or 'No, thanks' for an answer."
—Anonymous, 25, Iowa
29. "My favorite piece of advice was 'Drink a glass of red wine every day and your baby will be so big and strong like mine.' I did not do that haha."
30. "I had a coworker tell me that I was more pregnant this week than I was last week. I’m no doctor, but I’m pretty sure that’s how pregnancy works."
—Anonymous, Canada
31. "Not really advice, however, my father called me 'Fatty Bear' my entire pregnancy. I'm 5'2 and gained 35 pounds with my son who was two weeks early and weighed eight pounds. Maybe don't call the mother to be a 'Fatty Bear,' because pregnant women are hormonal AF."
—Anonymous, 32, Ontario, Canada
32. "I was told to get rid of my cat because cats steal the baby's breath away and suffocate them. I was told numerous times by this person that my cat was going to kill my baby. Weird huh?"
33. "I was working a hostess job in a big casino in Southern California and I was eight months pregnant standing behind the podium. You couldn’t tell that I was pregnant until I would walk the guest to their tables. One couple comes and asks for a table for two. I get the menus and start heading to their table and the wife goes, 'Oh you're pregnant?' I said 'Yes, almost due.' and she said, 'Oh, well there looks like there are two babies in there!' My mouth almost hit the ground. I told her nicely that it was just one, a girl, and smiled. Some nerve, these people!"
—Anonymous, 34, California
34. "My husband’s great aunt told us that we don’t need a crib for the baby and that we should just use a dresser drawer to put him to sleep and to close the dresser drawer and let him cry at night so we don’t 'spoil' him."
—Anonymous
35. "I went to Atlantic City in 1980 for the first (and last) time. I was obviously pregnant and was playing a nickel slot machine when an elderly woman came up to me and said, 'You should not be gambling your baby's future away!'"
—Anonymous, 60, New Jersey
36. "While this was technically after my pregnancy, I was told I was lucky that my son was born prematurely because he was 'smaller' and I didn't have to go through the last two months of pregnancy. He spent those two months in the hospital instead."
—Anonymous, 43, South Carolina