First, some definitions:
Millennial: a person reaching young adulthood in the early 21st century.
Ennui: a feeling of listlessness and dissatisfaction arising from a lack of occupation or excitement.
Millennui:
You may suffer from this affliction if:
1. You posted on Instagram to show off that you refolded a drawer of your shirts.
Marie Kondo: *folds a shirt* Everyone:
As a Virgo I'm like been there, done that.
2. You rang in the new year 2019 by reposting a photo of yourself in 2009.
3. Netflix added 1000 hours of original content this month and you watched The Office (from 2005) instead.
Having Netflix is basically me paying a monthly subscription to own The Office DVDs.
Are we out of serial killers to document?
4. You made a petty Venmo request.
When the bill is $20...but you petty AF #SiblingRivalryPodcast @thatonequeen
5. You ghosted a Hinge date because they greentexted you.
6. You bought ClassPass, not really to get fit but just to have a reason to get out of bed in the mornings.
7. Your favorite new song is Toto’s “Africa” (1984) or some YouTube cover of it.
8. You bought a plant just to have something to care for.
9. You repeatedly tagged a brand on Twitter praying that they’d engage you in conversation.
@SorraTsuna Are you a movie? Because I'd love to spend an average of 130 minutes focused entirely on you.
We don't deserve @Wendy's
10. Your new year’s resolution is “Go to Tulum like everyone else did in 2018”.
11. LinkedIn is your new Facebook.
12. You paid $6 dollars for a canned seltzer because it had components of marijuana in it.
13. You formed a strong opinion about canned seltzer.
14. You had a fight about the best canned seltzer.
15. You decided against raising a pet, but did follow a dog account(s) on social media.
16. You bought wine in bulk to be "ready for anything".
17. You traveled and called a non-specific location your "office for the day".
18. You covered the whole brunch check to make your Chase Sapphire card worthwhile.
19. You risked your life to do the “Bird Box” Challenge.
20. You watched Bird Box just to tell your coworkers “Yeah I liked it.”
21. You spent October trying to figure out health insurance. It’s okay, you’ll get 'em next year.
Last year I was bartending, and I bought my first couch two weeks ago - shortly after I got health insurance 😬 So don’t worry, growth doesn’t happen in a straight line! We’re all closer than we believe. https://t.co/G6ZEIgVoR8
Can AOC explain my HSA?
22. You stay physically active just to compete with some other friend who also has an Apple Watch.
23. You quit smoking and drinking (but started doing hallucinogens).
24. You ‘keep up with friends’ by tagging them in the comments of Spongebob memes and online giveaways.
25. You put a “Slow to Respond” auto-reply on your personal email because you literally can’t even.
26. You have no religion anymore, but you do read horoscopes daily.
Me: lol horoscopes and spirituality are the biggest load of shit Also me: the supermoon is making me depressed
Something something retrograde?
27. You deleted the Facebook app for “ethical” reasons but open their other product, Instagram, every 45 seconds.
28. You set a world record by liking an egg on Instagram.
29. You felt the urge to “go live” on Instagram.
30. You have too many group chats and too much FOMO to leave any of them.
31. You started saying your hobbies include "doing a face mask."
32. You paid $45 an hour to stationary bike among other people.
33. You got an adult coloring book for peace of mind.
34. You "did a thing".
35. You wanted to spend less time on your phone so you downloaded the app Headspace.
36. You drank a bunch of coffee instead of paying for lunch and called it “intermittent Fasting”.
37. You made a profane needlepoint or cross stitch.
38. You’ve been going out to the park more because you wanted a photo of a particularly 🔥 duck.
39. And finally, you gained a better understanding of your true self only after taking this BuzzFeed quiz.
