1.
Have a fucking filthy desk.
2.
Check your watch heaps.
3.
Walk really fast everywhere.
4.
Put Post-it Notes all over your office.
5.
Eat lunch at your desk.
7.
Make excited exclamations.
8.
Hold everything you own.
11.
Look like this instead.
12.
Spike your smoothies.
15.
Print out copious amounts of important "documents".
16.
Take one actual business call a day and be loud as hell.
17.
Never underestimate the power of a good highlighter.
19.
Massage your temples.
21.
Tell everyone how busy you are.