Buzz·Posted on 30 Oct 201521 Foolproof Ways To Look Busy At Work"I'd love to help with that but I have to print off all these emails."by by Mat WhiteheadBuzzFeed Staff, Australia, by Tahlia PritchardBuzzFeed Staff, AustraliaFacebookPinterestTwitterMailLink 1. Have a fucking filthy desk. Baton72 / Getty Images The more shit on your desk, the more people will think, Wow, she looks busy. Better not disturb her and her filthy fucking desk. 2. Check your watch heaps. Rayes / Getty Images Stare intently at your watch with a furrowed brow, for around 30 seconds at a time. It doesn't waste much time, but it's a great delaying tactic. 3. Walk really fast everywhere. Maridav / Getty Images Are you going to the bathroom? Walk super fast. Just going to get a burrito? Do it at a half sprint so people think you're off to an important meeting. 4. Put Post-it Notes all over your office. Bernd Opitz / Getty Images Post-it Notes are great for looking busy. Stick them up on your wall, take them down, scribble on them frantically, stare at them intently. The options are limitless. 5. Eat lunch at your desk. Siri Stafford / Getty Images "Is Helen eating lunch at her desk again? Wow, she's always so busy!" Nah, bitch, Helen is watching YouTube videos and living her best life. 6. Use a landline. Reza Estakhrian / Getty Images Landlines are distinctly more professional than using your iPhone, so people won’t even question if you’re just on hold to your electricity company...until you start swearing at them, that is. 7. Make excited exclamations. Jacob Wackerhausen / Getty Images Say something like “AHA!” triumphantly and raise a fist. It sounds like you just closed a deal but really you just had the highest bid on eBay for that antique horse dressed like old presidents. You did it! 8. Hold everything you own. Paul Bradbury / Getty Images Grab a pile of books, juggle your coffee, and take a phone call. When you walk past your co-workers, say things like, “Well, that doesn’t sound like it’s going to plan” or “Let’s meet up ASAP to reassess this further.” They’ll think you’re on a business call but you’re really just planning Saturday night. 9. Look exasperated. Jessica Peterson / Getty Images "Oh god, Stacey's hair is sticking up again and she's sighing loudly, things must not be going well." In fact, Stacey finally just finished watching Game of Thrones and can't believe THAT character is dead. 10. DON'T SMILE. Tetra Images / Getty Images This is Declan. He got sprung watching Netflix and his big dirty grin gave him away. Declan nearly got fired. 11. Look like this instead. Tetra Images / Getty Images Much better, Declan. 12. Spike your smoothies. Catherine Ledner / Getty Images Pretend you’re enjoying a soothing morning smoothie. No one has to know it’s half vodka. 13. Wear headphones. Thomas Barwick / Getty Images People will think you’re trying to concentrate, when really you’re just listening to the Ultimate Emo Break-Up playlist. 14. Take joyrides. A.b. / Getty Images Take a bunch of elevator trips. Nestle your new Jodi Picoult book in with your “work” “files”. 15. Print out copious amounts of important "documents". Dean Bertoncelj / Getty Images Print your emails. Print your fanfic. Print menus for the Thai place you're ordering dinner from later. Who cares. Hang around that printer looking like you NEED your print-outs. 16. Take one actual business call a day and be loud as hell. Fuse / Getty Images Be as loud as you fucking can. Sit on a co-worker's desk if you want, but shout that actual business to the heavens. Everyone will be like, "Did you hear Judy on that business call? Damn, she does business loudly." 17. Never underestimate the power of a good highlighter. Image Source / Getty Images You might be highlighting the cheapest bars to go for drinks on Friday night, but people will assume it’s just the latest account numbers. 18. Always poop at work. Simon Potter / Getty Images Get in the office, make yourself a strong coffee, and unload that dump truck. Take your time — bowel health is important. 19. Massage your temples. Brad Wilson / Getty Images People will think you’re stressed or thinking or meditating or some shit and leave you be. Really you’re just resting your eyes or dreaming about pizza. 20. Get a kid. Keith Brofsky / Getty Images Seriously, everyone looks so busy when they have a kid. It doesn't even need to be your kid, just grab one and look frazzled. No one will ask you for anything if you're holding a screaming baby. 21. Tell everyone how busy you are. Comstock Images / Getty Images If you start every conversation with, "I'm just so busy at the moment!" people will have to believe you.