1. Does the name “Corey Stoll” not ring the alarm for you? Does it not elicit a thirst that begs to be quenched? Then sit back, my friend, and listen:
2. This bald and beautiful studmuffin is Corey Stoll — full-time film and television actor, full-time life ruiner.
10. Still, Corey can work all the hair he wants — be it on his head.
11. Or above his upper lip.
12. [Beyoncé’s “Rocket” plays in the distance]
♬ YOU AIN’T RIGHT FOR DOING IT TO ME LIKE THAT, DADDY ♬
13. In sum: PLEASE, COREY STOLL.
14. GET YOUR GOOD-LOOKING SELF—
15. —ON OUR SCREENS MORE OFTEN—
16. —AND IN OUR LIVES 24/7.
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