Does the name "Corey Stoll" not ring the alarm for you? Does it not elicit a thirst that begs to be quenched? Then sit back, my friend, and listen:
This bald and beautiful studmuffin is Corey Stoll — full-time film and television actor, full-time life ruiner.
You might know him as U.S. Rep. Peter Russo of the Netflix hit House of Cards.
Or maybe you first noticed him as Ernest Hemingway in the fantasy rom-com Midnight in Paris.
And you'll see him in the upcoming film adaptation of the novel This Is Where I Leave You.
He'll be playing sibling to Tina Fey, Jason Bateman, and Adam Driver — as well as son to Jane Fonda — in what looks to be a great movie that your boyfriend will sleep through while you bawl your eyes out.
But you can currently see him on FX's The Strain with a wig that just won't give up when it needs to.
Dear The Strain showrunners — LET'S KEEP IT NATURAL AND GORGEOUS.
But the kind people at FX did give us this.
And also a lot of this.
Still, Corey can work all the hair he wants — be it on his head.
Or above his upper lip.
[Beyoncé's "Rocket" plays in the distance]
In sum: PLEASE, COREY STOLL.
GET YOUR GOOD-LOOKING SELF—
—ON OUR SCREENS MORE OFTEN—
—AND IN OUR LIVES 24/7.
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