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1. This back-up valentine:
2. This guy who waited for the perfect conditions to charm his woman crush only to be crushed:
3. This bridesman who fell short of becoming this bride's man:
4. This guy who reached the deepest, darkest depths of the friendzone in record time:
5. This "punching bag" who never stood a fighting chance:
6. This poor guy who keeps receiving mixed signals from his prom date:
7. This sweet fella who should probably quit making girls laugh with his dad jokes:
8. This boyfriend understudy:
9. This guy who tried negotiating his way into his best friend's heart to no avail:
10. This guy who doesn't understand why he can't be her boyfriend and best frandddd:
11. This guy who now holds the record for having less than a 0% chance of romance with his beautiful friend:
12. This guy who got down on one knee to ask for her hand in marriage and then hastily improvised at the last second:
13. This gentleman who now regrets paying for two seafood linguines that night, instead of one:
14. This persistent friend who has hopelessly been waiting for years for someone to agree with him:
15. This fake boyfriend who merely wanted to give spectators what they really wanted:
16. This poor sap who was only a pawn in her devious scheme:
17. This guy who believed things would've turned out differently if he picked her up on a motorcycle instead:
18. This supportive friend who has officially surrendered:
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