1. So this commercial for Benefit Cosmetics starts out with this hunky guy getting out of the ocean…
OK, so far so good.
2. And then there’s this guy who gets out of a pool wearing a giant chain and he winks at you.
(Actually Simon Rex, aka “Dirty Nasty,” aka still not getting where mascara comes in, but OK.)
3. And then suddenly there’s Vinny from the Jersey Shore doing yoga???
4. Then a hunky guy just walking through a parking lot…
Still no mascara??
5. And this woman reacts like this to him.
6. AND THEN SHE JUST STARES AT HIS PENIS?
7. And then it cuts to Vinny’s junk??!?
8. And then this guy’s junk???
9. And then this junk???
10. And then Vinny starts grabbing himself???
11. And then everybody else does??!?!
13. AND THEN VINNY PULLS OUT A TUBE OF MASCARA?
14. AND THEN THE GIRL JUST GRABS THIS HUNK’S DICK.
15. And then she does this.
16. And then Vinny just winks.
17. And I guess that’s how you sell mascara??
18. Here’s the entire bulgy experience.
- President Trump has given House Republicans an ultimatum: Pass their health care bill Friday or he will move on to other issues.
- FBI agents posed as filmmakers to talk to armed militia during a standoff in Nevada, then used the footage against two men on trial in federal court.
- The suspect in the London terror attack near Parliament, who was killed by police, has been identified as 52-year-old Khalid Masood.
- A lawsuit has been filed against a renowned UC Berkeley professor who allegedly sexually harassed and assaulted a former student and employee.