Aladdin is pretty much Disney's most beloved fuckboy.
Disney
Disney
Look at how delicately he handles that phallic loaf of bread.
He's toned, relatively hairless, and loves showing off his chiseled upper body.
Disney
It's no wonder so many gals and gays alike have had sexual fantasies about... Er... I mean crushes on Aladdin.
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Disney
But there's one thing about Aladdin that I've never been able to wrap my head around...
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He doesn't have any fucking nipples!
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You might be thinking "oh, well Aladdin's vest covers his nipples." But you'd be incorrect.
DIsney
We see Aladdin essentially shirtless numerous times during the film. But not once do we ever see nipple.
Disney
Believe me, I spent hours going frame by frame hunting for nipple. Nada.
And we all know... It only counts if you saw nipple.
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So now you might be thinking to yourself, "well maybe Disney just doesn't draw nipples, you pervert!"
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But you would be...
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Wrong again!
Tarzan had nipples.
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Disney
Glorious nipples!
King Triton had nipples.
Disney
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Milo had nipples.
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Disney
Nani's boyfriend David had nipples.
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Not only are there visible nipples in Brave...
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But this totally happens:
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So much love for the pecs!
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Chi-Fu had nipples.
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Like everyone in Mulan showed nipple.
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Hello heroic soldier nips!
Hercules and Zeus both had nipples.
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Disney
Sure, they're just squiggly lines. But they definitely count!
Hell, even Genie flashed nipple a few times!
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Disney
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But not Aladdin.
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Not once during the 91 minute movie do we see any sign of what could be considered a nipple on Aladdin's chest.
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And consider this: If Aladdin has a smoothed over, almost Ken doll like chest, what are the odds his nether region is any different?
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Which would put a serious hurt on his fuckboy like reputation.
