I know some of you ladies think Prince Eric is the hottest and best Disney prince. But I've got news for you...
The guy is gayer than the original movie poster.
I know ladies, it isn't fair. But the truth hurts.
But I'm ready to make my case.
1. He owns a cape. And not the nerdy superhero kind.
2. He avoids kissing women despite strong signals that his advances are welcome.
3. He rocks some deep-ass V-necks, and has mastered the hand-on-the-hip pose.
4. Plus, he isn't afraid to show a little belly.
5. He's got a pageant queen–quality wave.
6. His eyebrows are perfection. Obviously he has them either waxed or plucked regularly.
7. When given an easy opportunity, he doesn't check out Ariel's ass.
8. He often has conversations like this:
Where he is forced to give excuses for why he hasn't found the "right girl."
Though there doesn't seem to be a shortage of single women in his hometown.
9. He rocks jeggings.
10. His eye rolls are fierce.
11. And he gives a sassy side-eye.
12. He gives his female friends makeovers.
13. He's a skilled ballroom dancer, and is familiar with even the most complicated lifts.
14. He plays the fuckin flute.
15. A woman literally has to hypnotize him in order to get him to marry her.
16. Have you ever met a straight guy that rocks white gloves, a high collar, and a sash all in one outfit?
17. He makes a quick costume change before going after the sea monster.
18. 18. And is just too damn good-looking to be straight.
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