A little while ago, I asked the women of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us about the lil' red flags they look out for when they're using dating apps.
Here are 19 of the warning signs they watch out for when they're swiping, liking, and messaging.
1. "Pictures with the animals they have hunted."
2. "Any version of 'That’s not my name idk how to change it' or 'I’m actually [xx] years old idk why it says that.' You’re either a manipulator who’s hiding something or you’re actually that dumb. What else am I gonna have to teach you that you should know already?"
"Especially on Bumble, where women message first, men’s profiles that say 'idk what to put here' or 'just ask.' Literally, how would I have anything to say to you?
Anything followed by 'if it matters.' My brother in Christ, do YOU think it matters? Do you want it to matter to a person you might date?
Obviously any anti-feminist rants, which I’ve seen a shockingly high number of.
Any form of negging. Please y’all, stop taking the bait when people lightly insult you as an opening line."
—kd92
3. "If the bio says 'just ask' or is blank. You can't come up with two or three things you're interested in? Sounds like you want to fish me for info and then be my 'dream guy' for a bit until you're bored."
4. "If they're wearing a hat in every photo, it's a good bet they're overly self-conscious about their hair. Men, some of us LIKE a bald man. Or we don't give a damn. Please, a photo without the baseball cap and shades!"
5. "A red flag for me is not smiling in any of their photos! I love a nice smile and I want to see it!"
—Anonymous, 31, Louisiana
6. "When they put 'apolitical' in the bio. No one wants to be political, but unless we're a white male, we have to be. You have the luxury of not being involved in politics. When I'm not involved, I get my bodily autonomy taken away. I feel like these people don't always care about the problems of others."
7. "When they have a list of 'nos' on their profile. For example, no single mums, no BBW, no shift workers, no tall girls, etc. What if your soulmate is a 5'10" single mum who works as a nurse and hasn't lost her baby weight yet? You'll never know!"
—Anonymous, 28, United Kingdom
8. "In my experience, no conversation beginning with 'hey' has ever gotten any better. (I’m shy, but I still made an effort to tailor messages to the recipient. Just saying.)"
9. "'Giving this online dating thing one last chance' or 'Ugh I hate these apps' type of comments. Makes me think he has a lot of baggage and resentment towards women for his lack of success dating in the past."
10. "I don’t swipe for anyone who doesn’t include a written profile about themselves or chooses to only use emojis. If you can’t write even a few clear sentences about who you are and what you’re looking for, you don’t deserve my attention."
11. "Guys who say 'no drama.' Guaranteed 100% they were the source of whatever drama they experienced in the past."
12. "If they only have one picture and that picture is a group photo or a selfie in their car wearing sunglasses."
13. "If they make any comment about being an alpha male."
14. "If someone states something along the lines of 'guess' or whatever in the location part of their profile. It honestly screams 'tinfoil hat' to me. Don't know if that's what they are going for, but yeah. If anyone messages me and they have that, I'll probably ignore them."
15. "When they try and rush meeting up and say they don’t want a penpal."
16. "One-sided conversations. I ask questions and just get responses and nothing else. That’s not someone interested in really getting to know me. Why do you bother liking me if you aren’t going to put in any effort?"
—Anonymous, 51, New York
17. "Pictures flipping off the camera are a HUGE turn off for me. Like, for what?!"
18. "If the person follows you on Instagram before any talk about sharing socials has happened; it's even more creepy when you don’t have your socials connected to your online dating profile. Bonus points for aggressively liking or commenting on your posts and stories, or for messaging you on socials if you haven’t replied on the dating app."
—Anonymous, 25, United Kingdom
19. And finally: "Biggest red flag of all: having zero sense of actual human humor and kindness, and only being willing to discuss sexual or political topics. Also, only admitting to traveling for clout."
