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21 Times Having An Italian Surname Sucked

Of course I speak Italian.

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1. So everyone thinks you're Italian. Congratulations!!! You come from a culture that stretches back to the Romans at least. It's something you remind everyone...

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2. That you hail from the land of pizza and pasta.

3. But when someone tries to pronounce your name you get enraged.

4. When you try to spell it, people have no idea where to put spaces or apostrophes.

5. Don't even think about filling out a form. Do you think there are enough empty boxes for your ridiculously long name?! Of course there isn't!!!!!!

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6. Then you meet another person with an Italian last name and rejoice!

7. But they start speaking in Italian and... oh shit... it's happening.

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8. So you tell them you speak, "un poco".

9. Now they're just asking simple questions in Italian!

10. So you gotta pull the plug.

11. Despite the fact you've never been to Italy you support the Italian national football team.

12. And when you get into your teenage years, you think, yep, the time is now. I'M GOING TO ITALY!

13. This is the moment you've been waiting for since you declared you were Italian!

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14. And it's like you're home! Yes I will eat pasta for breakfast.


15. Six coffees before midday? Sure. I'm down because I'm goddamn Italian!

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16. And then someone asks you a question...

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17. And it starts all over again.

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19. It's time to accept you just can't speak Italian, kid.

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20. That doesn't mean you don't already have the best name among your friends.

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21. And yeah, we get it... you have the most fun, exotic, killer names to say out loud!