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People Couldn't Handle The Latest Marriage Equality Shit Fight

"Well if you don't like our stupid and expensive plebiscite, you can always choose our ridiculous and expensive postal plebiscite!"

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Australia's politicians returned to work on Monday to find a rainbow above their workplace. What a coincidence it was.

As the Liberal Party began its emergency party room meeting to decide the future of marriage equality, people thought, surely, the government wouldn't just stick with the failed plebiscite again.

The definition of insanity is submitting the plebiscite to Parliament again and expecting a different result.

It also happened to be the same day we learnt about flesh-eating sea lice. FLESH-EATING SEA LICE, YES, YOU READ THAT RIGHT.

How did @abcnews get this live video feed from inside the Liberal party room?

But reports started spilling out of the party room that just a handful of MPs were causing the ruckus, while a couple of dozen were holding the line.

EXCLUSIVE: Leaked photo from inside the Liberal party room meeting. #ssm #plebiscite #Auspol

Yep, after two hours the meeting ended, and the government decided to try and jam through its plebiscite for a second time.

Stop trying to make 'plebiscite' happen. It's not going to happen. (we've only had 3 nationally, last in 1977.)

This time, with a twist: If the Senate again blocks it (which it'll invariably do), the government will bring on a rare postal plebiscite.

A postal plebiscite reminds of when I was a kid and we had to send film back to Kodak to be developed and wait months and the pics were shit

The government believes it doesn't need legislation to hold a postal plebiscite.

Malcolm Turnbull's stimulus package for Australia Post is a step closer then

It was quite impressive that the party room's solution to legalising marriage equality would delay any action on the issue even further.

Entire nation: I hope the party room decides to do garriage now *party room convenes* Party room: we're building a coal plant

Oh and one more thing: The postal plebiscite would not be binding, meaning any MP could disregard the result.

It's Adam and Eve not non-binding postal plebiscite taken to a joint coalition party meeting to decide on a free vote and steve

So really, the government was now just running though all the options it had one by one.

a) plebiscite b) postal vote c) conscience vote d) all of the above government going the old multiple choice exam option d

Think of it this way.

Here are the possible outcomes going forward...

People weren't all that impressed by the postal option, tbh.

"Well if you don't like our stupid and expensive plebiscite, you can always choose our ridiculous and expensive postal plebiscite!"

Though there maybe was more than one upside.

Abbott told the room he cannot support a postal plebiscite. One MP suggests that probably means they should do a postal plebiscite.

Like, at least millennials will be forced to learn how to use the post.


Mark Di Stefano is a media and politics correspondent for BuzzFeed News and is based in London.

Contact Mark Di Stefano at

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