The Hand Of God Touched The Voice Of God And It Was The Most Biblical Thing That Ever Happened

In the name of the Diego, the Armando, and the Maradona. Amen.

1. The Hand of God, Diego Maradona emerged from an Italian car and parted the reporters like Moses told the Red Sea, “PART!”

SBS News / Via

2. The Argentinean was here to speak to God’s spokesman on Earth, Pope Francis: “Oh where art thou Pope?!”

AP Images

3. And his Popeness revealed himself in all his glory, holding aloft a sacred ornament for the God’s Hand.

Anadolu Agency / Getty Images


4. OHMYGOD they were going to *touch*? Where was it written that they would touch?!

SBS News / Via

5. The Hand and the Voice…. *gasp*

SBS News / Via

6. It had been painted. LO INDEED! it was painted on the ceiling nearby.

Manuel Maragoni / Via

7. The Hand and the Voice were one and the world was good and this was the pinnacle of Christianity.

SBS News / Via

8. The painting never touched.

Manuel Maragoni / Via

9. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh yeah, God.

SBS News / Via

10. They separated to reveal God’s uniform: Argentina’s national soccer team jersey.

Pier Marco Tacca / Getty Images

11. For both of God’s instruments were men of Argentina.


NBC News


12. And the most biblical moment in the history of the world was sealed with tight hugs.

romereports / Via

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Mark Di Stefano is a political editor for BuzzFeed News and is based in Sydney.
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