I think the cheater may not be aware that she's polyamorous, that's why I'm suggesting she look into things. This situation is really messy, but I do think she could use it as an opportunity to learn about herself and how to navigate relationships ethically.
As for the "she needed…Â
I love how y'all assume I'm saying this woman is practicing ethical non-monogamy because I called out this dude's advice as biased hahaha. Obviously she is cheating, I'm not saying she isn't :P She's definitely not ethical right now, but she might be able to without breaking up with…Â
Ethical non-monogamy/polyamory does require a lot of work and emotional maturity, I agree. As for the projecting part... maybe hahaha! She did say that she loved them both, however.
I'm sorry with all the folks agreeing with Stephen, but I'm here to say: this advice is so mononormative, and damageable to some extent for the poor woman who's gonna read it. Obviously this person is polyamorous. She loves them both dearly. The problem isn't her, it's that her and…Â
If you were to compare Ammonite and Portrait of a Lady in Fire, you'd see right away that the first one serves the male gaze, while the second one does not. Portrait of a Lady in Fire does an amazing job at building intimacy without actually being voyeuristic; the result is altogether…Â
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