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21 Things Every Fake Adult Has Experienced

No one told us it would be like this.

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1. Feeling like time is running out.

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You're watching TV, reading a book, or lying in bed, almost completely at peace, when it happens. The little voice inside your head starts wailing. "You're running out of time!"

2. Realising that you’re not a child any more.

You must now accept your fate by providing for yourself.


5. Having to "there’s food at home" yourself.

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True pain is resigning yourself to magicking something out of the ingredients sitting forlornly in your kitchen cupboard.

6. Using Saturdays for errands when you thought the weekend was going to be for fun.

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As much as you want to do nothing all alone by yourself in your room, the groceries just aren't going to buy themselves.

7. Realising you’re officially no longer down with the kids.

youths will literally bully you for anything. my bf said my housemate bought milk, then went to mcds & some kids yelled "milk boy" at him

They take one look at you and just know that you have no cool credentials any more.


9. Scrolling through the let-me-tell-you-about-my-success cesspit social media has become.

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Scrolling through your timeline means seeing all the internships, fellowships, and job offers the people you couldn't stand in school are flaunting.

10. Accepting the deterioration of your 5-year-plan: or the acceptance of your ever-changing future.

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You have aspirational goals you'd like to achieve before you're 25, but the way that you'll achieve them keeps changing. Terrifying.

11. Getting nostalgic about stuff and making up a version of events you're not sure even happened the way you remember them.

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Remember school? Wasn't that great? It sure feels like it when it's behind you.


13. Outgrowing friends and feeling weird about it.

people: "wait, u two aren't friends anymore??! but y'all used to be so close!" me:

Pretty soon, the spark just isn't there.

14. Getting weirdly emotional about doing chores you've put off for a long time. Like laundry.

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Add laundry to the list of responsibilities you have and sometimes it feels like all your unclean clothes are mocking you.

15. Realising that you probably won’t ever own a house and all your 10-year-old Argos catalogue scrapbooking collage dreams are dead.

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The true millennial struggle.

16. Waking up in the middle of the night with flashbacks of something embarrassing you said or did once.

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That time that you flubbed your own name at an introductory class at uni emerges from the corner of your mind at night. The laughter. The horror.


17. Biting your tongue when someone older than you starts talking politics at a family event.

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Rearranging your face into a smile that doesn't say I Hate So Much of What You Choose to Be when an uncle shares his vaguely racist opinions over the table eventually becomes the norm.

20. Realising that every adult in the whole world is just like you: making it up as they go along.

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You mean we're all just improvising? Seriously?

21. Coming to the slow but ultimately peaceful realisation that you actually know nothing.

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Like everyone else you don't know much, but that just means there's lots to learn. Your twenties are temporary but you'll be learning forever, and in the grand scheme of things, every adult in the world is just trying their best. And that's okay.