15 Things You'll Only Understand If You're Secretly Mean

My lips say, "No biggie!" but my eyes scream, "YOU ARE DEAD TO ME."

1. Someone you hate goes through a painful breakup, and you're like:

FOX

But you feel like:

Warner Bros. Pictures

2. A friend cancels on you at the last minute, and you're like:

NBC

But you're really like:

ABC

3. Your hairdresser fucks up your hair and you're like:

Paramount Pictures

But you're really like:

HBO

4. Someone gives you a backhanded compliment, and you're like:

FOX

But you're really like:

Paramount Pictures

5. Your roommate borrows your sweater without asking, and you're like:

Comedy Central

But you're really like:

ABC

6. A stranger steps on your foot and quickly apologizes, and you're like:

CBS

But you're really like:

Big Machine

7. Your coworker gives their long-winded political opinion that no one asked for, and you're like:

Netflix

But you're really like:

Columbia Pictures/ Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer

8. A waiter seriously fucks up your order and you're like:

The Weinstein Company

But you're really like:

HBO

9. Your manager asks at you to do something and you're like:

ABC

But you're really like:

HBO

10. Your significant other gives you a shitty birthday gift and you're like:

IFC

But you're really like:

CBS

11. When you hit a cutie up only to get a "sorry, who is this?" text, you're like:

VH1

But you're actually like:

HBO

12. A stranger tells you that your backpack is open, and you're like:

ABC

But you're really like:

Disney

13. Your asshole coworker seriously fucks up their presentation, and you're like:

Disney

But you feel like:

Disney

14. Your significant other calls you out on your shit, and you're like, "I totally understand. Thank you for loving me":

ABC

But you're really like:

FOX

15. So yeah, you're really mean...

The CW

...but it's fine because no one can tell!

NBC