1. A miniature bat signal to turn on when you're having a rough day.
"Save me from spreadsheets, Batman!"
Get it from Think Geek for $9.95.
2. A cat who will (ever-so-helpfully) hold your keys or headphones with her tail while she perches on your computer screen.
3. An armadillo to hold important business cards and notes.
4. Decals that'll make your keyboard look beautiful even when it's littered with crumbs.
5. A light-up cord to resuscitate a dying cell phone as you work.
6. Fork, spoon, and knife-shaped caps that'll come in handy on those days when you're so busy you have to eat at your desk.
Get them from Amazon for $8.53.
7. And some erasers for pencils that look like *pen* caps.
Get them from Stupid.com for $5.99.
8. Rubber erasers that'll turn your desk into a cityscape.
9. A magnetic wooden tree with a squirrel and a few acorns to keep track of notes and reminders.
Get it from Amazon for $21.99.
10. Pencils that are basically little hunks of modern art you can write with.
11. An illustrated weekly planner that's so lovely you'll probably want to save it even after the year's over.
12. Containers for pens and other small doodads that attach to the bottom of your computer monitor.
13. Sticky note cubes with charming illustrated scenes on the sides.
14. Little plops of poop that sharpen pencils.
You may be thinking, These aren't poop plops! They're ice cream dollops!
Get them from Amazon for $5.99.
15. A notepad that knows exactly how you feel all week.
16. A wooden box filled with pieces of rubber to hold pens, pencils, or paintbrushes in place.
17. Erasers that look like they came from Ladurée.
18. Mouse pads featuring the start screens of your favorite old video games.
19. And an 8-bit bouquet that's so much more cost-effective than buying actual flowers.
20. A smiley cloud cushion to soothe your achey elbows.
21. "Milk" that you definitely shouldn't drink (because it's actually correction tape).
22. Or — if you prefer creepy things to cute ones — correction tape stored in mummies.
23. A net that'll turn being tidy into a game.
24. Bendy dog and cat ties to keep your cables from getting all tangled up.
25. A set of notebooks for sloth lovers.
26. Pencils for members of the Grammar Police Squad.
27. Pens you'll be tempted to take a few licks of.
28. A peg board that comes with over 350 letters, numbers, and symbols.
Get it from Urban Outfitters for $24.