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1.A slightly shocking bath mat your mom will think is, "Not funny, Miranda."
25.A breathtaking ouijia board that'll have your mom flipping out (especially when the spirits flip it over).
26.A jar of activated charcoal toothpaste — your mom will sigh if she sees it, because it's not the trend she was hoping you'd pick up as far as dental hygiene is concerned (hint: it is flossing).
27.A suede and leather Gucci belt bag, because if she finds out how much you spent on a "fanny pack", she's totally gonna kick you off the family Netflix plan.
28.A satirical T-shirt she may find distasteful (particularly because your brother's name is Toby).
29.A bracelet flask that'll seem like a great idea to help get you through your visit...until your mom sees you sipping from it.
30.A Deadpool Chia Pet your mom won't love as much as she should, because this isn't exactly what she meant when she said your apartment could use some plants.
31.A pet stroller, because this is not the kind of stroller she wanted to see you pushing.
32.A Dammit Doll for relieving your stress by hitting a helpless doll against a hard surface until the stuffing comes out... your mom will see the "poor thing" and wish you'd just had some camomile tea instead.
33.A wine glass which, if your mother finds it, is sure to lead to a conversation on portion control that'll make you need an even bigger wine glass.
34.An Exorcist action figure mom will be fine with, until she finds out you replaced the china doll she gave you with this one because you think this is less creepy.
35.A pack of penis pasta she won't want to see you eating... you know, because of your gluten intolerance.
36.A unicorn mug that'll prove to your mom that yes, she really did give birth to a brony (personally, I'm a Starshine).
37.And Broad City's peg like a queen strap on you better lock in a safe that is designed to bury itself and then explode if your mother comes within 25 yards of it. Or else.