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    37 Products Your Mom Probably Won't Approve Of

    "Mom it's not mine, I swear!" But it is.

    We hope you love the products we recommend! All of them were independently selected by our editors. Just so you know, BuzzFeed may collect a share of sales or other compensation from the links on this page if you decide to shop from them. Oh, and FYI β€” prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.

    1. A slightly shocking bath mat your mom will think is, "Not funny, Miranda."


    Get it from Amazon for $4.93.

    2. An inappropriate print she's gonna wag her finger at the minute she steps through the door.

    The Lovely Print Shop

    This piece is a digital download.

    Get it from The Lovely Print Shop on Etsy for $5.41.

    3. A boyfriend pillow you better put away quick before your mother finds out you've picked it over the "very nice boy" from her office she keeps trying to set you up with.


    Promising review: "Not only am I obsessed with this pillow, so are are my fur babies! I've honestly never slept better. It's the perfect cuddle, with no morning breath or awkward goodbyes. This girl loves it! πŸ™Œ" β€”Caren Lewis

    Get it from Amazon for $34.99 (available in eight colors).

    4. A selfie light that'll make you look fantastic, but will make your mom roll her eyes SO HARD they might get stuck that way.


    This clip-on cellphone light is rechargeable and has three brightness levels. It uses 36 long-lasting LEDs to illuminate ya face, and it's simple to use β€” just press the power button to turn it on/off or to adjust the brightness levels.

    Get it from Amazon for $13.99.

    5. An oral sex simulator you're gonna have to pretend is a skin exfoliator when she finds it in your bathroom.


    Promising review: "I never thought I'd write a review on such a delicate topic but I cannot keep this to myself! I'd like to start off by saying the packaging was great, it has a nice smell, and it's so quiet. This will serriously give you fireworks!!! It's the best by far!! Definitely a must-have! I wish I could give it 20 stars." β€”Knoxy

    Get it from Amazon for $43.93.

    6. Temporary tattoo ink β€” it may make your mother cringe when she realizes you've been out of junior high for 13 years and you're still "drawing on yourself."


    Until you write "I love Mom" and watch her change her tune.

    Promising reviews: "This is such a neat product. It really looks like a real tattoo! This is a great product if you're testing out a tattoo that you're thinking about getting or if you just don't want anything too permanent! Overall this is a great product and I've already recommended it to many friends!" β€”Cindy J.

    Get it from Amazon for $20+ (available in two sizes).

    7. A tongue cat brush, because you're 28 and she already thinks you're verging on spinster cat lady... but WTFC because Pawdrey Hepburn is gonna love it!

    Promising review: "I bought it as a joke, but the cat seems to like it a lot." β€”Simon B.

    Get it from Amazon for $18.50+ (available in two colors).

    8. A freezer full of TV dinners sure to stress her out when she sees them and realizes you haven't had a home cooked meal since you lived at home.


    Any more of these and her blood pressure will increase at the same pace as your cholesterol (worth it, these things are delicious).

    Get them from Jet for $3.59 each or $3.09 each if you buy ten.

    9. A Mr. Rogers prayer candle, because she raised you on Mr. Rogers and Jesus, but you were supposed to pick Jesus.

    A Warm Glue Gun

    Get it from A Warm Glue Gun on Etsy for $13.

    10. A cookie baking set β€” if she finds out you have a poop-themed cookie cutter she'll stop feeling bad for you when you call to tell her your baking turned out crappy.


    Fortunately with this set, that should happen exactly zero percent of the time. It includes three non-stick cookie sheets and four emoji-themed cookie cutters.

    Get it from BuzzFeed's Tasty collection, exclusively at Walmart for $9.97.

    11. A set of bride and bridal party shirts that'll make your mom realize she's toast if she thinks you're gonna make it through the wedding day without drinking.

    Iconic Duo

    Breakfast champagne, anyone?

    Get the bridal shirt and the bridal party shirt from Iconic duo, both for $24 (available in size S).

    12. An inappropriate canvas bag with a character both nakey and defiant, that says exactly what your mother will think of your tote choice.

    Sophie Corrigan

    It's bath time all over again.

    Get it from Sophie Corrigan on Society6 for $24.99+ (available in three sizes).

    13. A Pop it Pal that'll gross her out so much, she'll wonder how someone like you even came out of her (actually, pretty similarly to this, TBH).


    Get it from Amazon for $19.99 (available in three colors).

    14. A dog umbrella she'll probably think is an adorable, but ridiculous, expense (particularly when you forget about bringing an umbrella for yourself).


    Get it from Amazon for $15.99.

    15. A cookbook with a key ingredient mom definitely does not have in her pantry.


    Get it from Amazon for $18.95.

    16. A pair of cutie boob earrings that won't be your mother's idea of an acceptable accessory for your sister's graduation ceremony.


    Get it from Melopepo on Etsy for $48+ (available in two metals).

    17. A pack of four zombie popsicle molds, because you told her you'd stop eating into that The Walking Dead business.


    Get them from Amazon for $10.99 (available in nine styles).

    18. A pair of high heels β€” your supportive mom has always told you to "break a leg" whenever you've had a performance, but in shoes this sharp she'll be worried it happens for real.

    Free People

    Get them from Free People for $198 (available in two colors and sizes 5–10) or get a similar pair from Amazon for $43.96.

    19. A vibrator necklace which would be fine for her to see, if she wasn't so fond of sharing jewelry...


    Promising reviews: "This works exceedingly well! It's A powerhouse well beyond its size with quality craftsmanship!" β€”PJ Rellaw

    Get it from Amazon for $69+ (available in three colors).

    20. A spell book that'll make her think you're cooking up something other than lasagna at the family dinner.


    Promising review: "This is less a book about witchcraft than an excellent self help book with rituals, chanting, and self-help ideas under the guise of spells. This is more about feeling free, taking care of oneself, and teaching ways to encourage positive thoughts and energy with a few historic notes on the holistic care, independence, and lives of supposed witches back in the day. That said, the rituals and self care tips in the book are catchy and I definitely felt like a better person after reading it." β€”Madalyn

    Get it from Amazon for $13.38.

    21. A tub of Tide Pods β€” they wouldn't usually fluster your mom, but she's not gonna be happy when she sees them by the potato chips in your snack cabinet.


    Promising review: "I just love these pods! They're the greatest invention since sliced bread. They are easy to use, not messy, and clean perfectly." β€”NiceTallGuy

    Get it from Amazon for $18.79.

    22. A shower curtain which may have a little more peen than your mother was expecting in her shower.

    Maaike Ankum

    Get it from Maaike Ankum on Society6 for $69.99.

    23. A Homesick candle you can light up when she wants to come over and tell you it's probably a misteak to eat BBQ as often as you do.


    Coleslaw is a vegetable, Mother!

    Get it from Amazon for $29.95 (available in 12 scents).

    24. Or a copy of The Unicorn Cookbook because she is also worried you live off of sugar (she is not wrong).

    Get it from Amazon for $14.99.

    25. A breathtaking ouijia board that'll have your mom flipping out (especially when the spirits flip it over).

    Matt Verges

    You can also grab a print of this piece if you love the work but don't have space for a board.

    Get it from Matt Verges on Etsy for $200 or a classic board on Amazon for $22.24.

    26. A jar of activated charcoal toothpaste β€” your mom will sigh if she sees it, because it's not the trend she was hoping you'd pick up as far as dental hygiene is concerned (hint: it is flossing).

    Promising review: "This stuff works! My husband didn't know I started using this and after the first time I did he was surprised to see my teeth were visibly brighter and asked if I had my teeth professionally done. I use it twice a week and love my white smile. Really helps with overall oral health and my breath is noticeably cleaner (even in the morning)." β€”Ladacnom

    Get it from Amazon for $9.97.

    27. A suede and leather Gucci belt bag, because if she finds out how much you spent on a "fanny pack", she's totally gonna kick you off the family Netflix plan.


    Get it from Nordstrom for $790+ (available in two colors and four sizes).

    28. A satirical T-shirt she may find distasteful (particularly because your brother's name is Toby).


    I bought this shirt as a gift for my sister-in-law's birthday and then promptly bought one for my husband and myself. Our family photos are gonna be great this year.

    Get it from Amazon for $12.19+ (available in nine colors and sizes S–3XL).

    29. A bracelet flask that'll seem like a great idea to help get you through your visit...until your mom sees you sipping from it.


    Get it from Amazon for $11.18 (available in nine colors).

    30. A Deadpool Chia Pet your mom won't love as much as she should, because this isn't exactly what she meant when she said your apartment could use some plants.


    Promising review: "This was a middle of the night impulse buy and I regret nothing! The terracotta is well made β€” nice and smooth. The chia seeds are plentiful, enough for multiple crops, and the instructions are helpful. The seeds are fresh and sprouted immediately. 100% pleased." β€”M. Gode

    Get it from Amazon for $12.97 (available in 13 styles).

    31. A pet stroller, because this is not the kind of stroller she wanted to see you pushing.


    Promising review: "Our dog seems to be quite comfortable in it and it is stable and easy to push. This makes it much easier than using a leash to take him with us around large groups of people." β€”Jill C. Holleque

    Get it from Amazon for $39.99+ (available in three colors).

    32. A Dammit Doll for relieving your stress by hitting a helpless doll against a hard surface until the stuffing comes out... your mom will see the "poor thing" and wish you'd just had some camomile tea instead.


    Promising review: "It's cute, durable, and a definite conversation starter." β€”Karla

    Get it from Amazon for $16.38 (available in 10 colors).

    33. A wine glass which, if your mother finds it, is sure to lead to a conversation on portion control that'll make you need an even bigger wine glass.


    Promising review: "This glass totally surpassed my expectations. I thought it was going to just be a cute gag gift for Christmas but the quality is fantastic. It will last forever." β€”Dani

    Get it from Amazon for $14.99+ (available in eight styles).

    34. An Exorcist action figure mom will be fine with, until she finds out you replaced the china doll she gave you with this one because you think this is less creepy.


    Get it from Amazon for $10.67.

    35. A pack of penis pasta she won't want to see you eating... you know, because of your gluten intolerance.


    Get it from Amazon for $8.30 (available in two flavors).

    36. A unicorn mug that'll prove to your mom that yes, she really did give birth to a brony (personally, I'm a Starshine).


    Get it from Amazon for $19.95.

    37. And Broad City's peg like a queen strap on you better lock in a safe that is designed to bury itself and then explode if your mother comes within 25 yards of it. Or else.

    Get it from Babeland for $90.

    We love our moms!


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    The reviews in this post have been edited for length and clarity.