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1. A TubShroom that'll protect you from the things lurking in your drain, because soap-covered hair goo is too scary for even Stephen King to put down the pipes.
2. A WubbaNub pacifier sure to be easy to find when your kiddo inevitably throws it and immediately throws a fit. Grocery shopping is about to be a whole lot more bearable for you...and everyone shopping within earshot of your baby's incredible lung capacity.
3. A door draft stopper that'll be a great choice if the gap under your door is doing its best to suck out all of your AC into the hot, humid hallway this summer.
4. A smoke and carbon monoxide detector, something you should always have updated and at-the-ready. This can give you peace of mind about the things you're breathing in, helping you breathe easy.
5. An argan oil heat spray for restoring dry, damaged ends by shielding your hair strands from the blistering heat of your curling iron and straightener. Sigh, because the tools that fix a bad hair day also have to be bad for your hair. Rude.
6. An anti-blister balm that'll keep you from feeling de-feet-ed by painful blisters, even on intense hikes. Rub this on and rub it in when *you* get to the top blister-free after your sore-footed friends mocked your preparedness skills.
7. A travel wallet with enough room to hold every paper and card you could possibly need. When traveling is a thing again, you're gonna be the best traveler. You are.
8. A foot odor spray so you can confidently know you have a place to sleep at night when your roommates have threatened to throw you out with your smelly shoes.
9. A reusable menstrual cup designed specifically for heavy flow, saving you from the stress of possible leakage *and* saving your favorite pair of pants from...yourself.
10. And a bottle of Poo-Pourri sure to protect you from the dread that is a number two in a public restroom. Spray this in the tank before you go and everything's sure to be coming up roses!
11. A spiffy blind spot mirror that'll make you a parallel parking pro. Your bumper can't wait to thank you.
12. A pack of vomit bags with a twist and seal structure to save the day (and the road trip) when your kids start getting motion sick the minute you put the key in the ignition.
13. An on-the-go razor, because everybody deserves to calm their nerves with a relaxing bath and a silky smooth shave after an unsettlingly bumpy flight.
14. An odor eliminating candle for saving your relationship when your boo brings along their smelly Irish Setter to your place on date night. Three's still a crowd, but at least this way the date won't stink.
15. A portable door lock so you can add some extra security in seconds, without a single tool in sight.
16. A pair of compression socks said to improve blood circulation, support your Achilles heel, and save you from restless nights when even putting your feet up hasn't helped.
17. A pack of homeopathic jet-lag pills – these just might finally keep you from sleeping through (and ruining) your vacation, no matter how late your red-eye is.
18. A heat protective iron holster, so you don't burn anything while making yourself look hot.
19. A pack of six disposable urinals that'll assist you while camping, on road trips, or with any other urinary emergencies that may arise away from the comfort of a bathroom stall.
20. A silk bra stash for protecting your valuables right next to your personal assets.
21. An Instant Pot you needed in your kitchen like, yesterday. This contraption can replace half your appliances and make full meals in minutes, saving you kitchen space *and* saving you money...your pizza deliverer is about to be heartbroken.
22. A multi-use car hammer designed to help you escape from your car in an emergency – use the safety edge slicer to cut through your seatbelt and the rounded hammer to break through windows and windshields.
23. A set of decibel-reducing, noise-canceling earplugs that'll tune out noise around you, helping you feel like you have your own quiet work space even when your partner's Zoom calls seem to go on all day long.
24. A loose face powder for fashion-savvy folks who want a full-coverage powder foundation that's sure to actually last a full day – saving your personal style from a certain, sweaty doom.
25. A password book so you can keep all your secrets in a place that's far easier to remember than the suggested passcode every retail site and service expects you to use.
26. A jar opener that'll easily (and subtly) attach to a shelf or under a counter and help you out any time a stubborn jar puts you in a real ~jam~.
27. A dry shampoo for busy people who don't always have the time to wash their locks but would still prefer not looking like a cast member from Grease. Save yourself from a day in the life of Danny Zuko, there's way too much spontaneous singing involved.
28. A can of fire extinguishing spray with a design that'll spark your muscle memory, because nothing sounds scarier than not knowing how to use an extinguisher when you notice a fire start to spark.
29. And finally, an essential oil stick you're gonna love forever when you see how well it saves you from the headache that is living with migraine pain.
When I use these products and don't even care that I'm talking to an inanimate object:
