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Get an A+ in adulting. The products in this post were updated in September 2018.
This one works for kids and adults, in your ear *or* on your forehead.
Get it from Amazon for $27.99.
Promising review: "This thermometer quickly registers temperature quickly and displays information clearly in an easy to see / read format. It provides two methods of taking temperature, and this feature is beneficial when the circumstances warrant it; e.g. sweaty forehead. It is a good value for the price." —Kim C.
That means not under sleeping on weeknights and maintaining your sleep schedule on the weekend.
Get it from Amazon for $6.40.
Promising review: "Had a spare seat belt and a old window and tried it out the seat belt cuter works great just cut through that like a hot butter and the window didn’t stand a chance 😂 I feel safer knowing this works and I keep it on my drivers side door if needed" —Christopher Soto
If you're really bad at this, this apology pad may be a good place to start.
Get it from Amazon for $5.89.
Get this one from Amazon for $24.99.