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1. A question per day journal with lines for both you and your SO, leading to interesting discussion on topics like "Where would you like to travel together?", "What does your partner's laugh sound like?" and "What's the softest thing you're wearing today?"
2. An Amazon Echo Dot that'll be a a time- and space-saving way to settle all your arguments (and prove you're right, of course).
3. A contoured memory foam pillow designed to keep snorers in a ~quieter~ sleeping position — helping them (and you, duh) sleep better every night.
4. A bottle of odor-busting Poo-Pourri, because their deuces make you want to say ✌️ to your home for the rest of the day.
5. A subscription to Shaker and Spoon, a monthly box delivered right to your door to bring you all the ingredients you need to whip up three tasty cocktail recipes each month. You both need a good happy hour in 2018.
6. A velvety matte liquid lipstick that'll never transfer onto your skin, whether they're pecking you on the cheek or opting for an entire makeout sesh.
7. An all natural beard balm made with vegan, organic ingredients like argan and avocado oils, plus shea butter and aloe to nourish skin and soften coarse hairs. You're tired of their beard being scratchy AF!
8. An Amazon Fire TV stick you can simply plug into your existing TV and stream all the shows, movies, and music you want. Enjoy it with your partner for an at-home date night, or by yourself when you simply can't wait for them to watch that next episode of The Crown.
9. A useful and pretty photography guide so they can develop their burgeoning interest... and also so they'll take pics guaranteed to up your 'gram followers.
10. A Blue Apron subscription, because they've expressed an interest in learning to cook, but you're expressed NO interest in tasting their weird experiments.
11. A beautiful blank genealogy chart so you can trace your family trees together for display on your wall.
12. A golden scratch off map of the world you can fill out to encourage future trips together. Any place that's still gold? Plan a vacation!
13. A stovetop espresso maker that'll brew two cups at once — meaning they basically have no excuse not to make one for you at the same time.
14. A Prime membership to give the gift of free two-day shipping, streaming movies, TV, and music, exclusive products and deals, and a selection of Kindle e-books. It's not like you're going to use it too.... or will you?
15. A super slim portable battery with two USB ports so ~both~ of your devices can be charging at the same time. Oh, and by the way, it has over 11,000 FIVE-STAR REVIEWS!
16. A 12-inch green tea-infused memory foam mattress so *your* sleep will never be interrupted when *they* toss and turn. Maybe a mattress seems like a weird present, but honestly the gift of a good night's sleep is the best gift of all.
17. A Kindle Paperwhite with a glare-free screen that looks like an actual book page, so they won't keep you up when they can't put their book down.
18. A hilarious yet useful cuddling pillow so they can feel the joy of being the little spoon... without your arm falling asleep.
19. A nifty notepad perfect for sending little love letters to each other. You can fill out the top one when you give it to them — and the rest of the pad? Guess they'll be sent to you! 😍
20. Tasty's Latest & Greatest cookbook, a collection of 80+ of their recent and most popular recipes, because you've watched the videos like a bajillion times together, and you want them to cook one for you, dangit!
21. A straight-up closet doubling hanging rack to help organize their stuff... and also give YOU significantly more closet room.
22. A sushi-making kit so you can both save money by whipping up rolls at home rather than frequenting the local Japanese restaurant.
23. A crepe-making set complete with 12-inch nonstick griddle and wooden spreader to ensure the lightest, thinnest crepes outside of Paris.
24. And a tray with slide-proof slots for a phone and tablet so those crepes can be delivered for breakfast in bed.
25. A copy of the Llama Sutra that'll put the ~adult~ in "adult coloring book." Talk about an 😉 activity book😉!
26. A pair of mugs that'll really come in handy when one of you is deciding when to ask a favor early in the morning.
27. An elegant cheese board with cracker slots, because your 2018 resolution is more wine-and-cheese dinners – without having to invite other people over.
You, as you hand over your totally-selfless-no-skin-in-the-game present:
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