1.
When she both straight up bragged and then reamed Uber to hell and back.
Unlike some peasant, she took the most expensive version.
However it was messy as fuck. Sad!
2.
When she humblebragged about her Tesla:
Notice the new car??!?!?!?!?!
3.
When she shaded "the triplets of Malvern"
They accosted her during a quiet dinner and btw... they are not triplets!
4.
When she made the wild turkeys feel dumb and insignificant.
They are NOT (and will never be!!!) the bronze turkeys on her other farm.
5.
When she threw shade at margaritas by purposefully calling them something else.
MARGOT RITA? I don't know her.
6.
When she showed off her new bike.
It's the new interceptor platinum edition e-bike, losers.
7.
When she shaded the "old management."
The food, under new management (!!!!!!!!!) is delicious. Old management can die in a fire.
8.
When she humblebragged about her electric meter shed.
'Cause it's not a regular electreic meter shed, it's an enchanted electric meter cottage.
9.
When she disparaged yetis.
You know, by calling them cookie monsters when they are not monsters at all...they are YETIS!!!
10.
When she made everyone that wasn't on vacation with her feel like scum!!
Would you rather be here with her in the sun drinkin' rosè, or where you are, somewhere that is definitely shitty and filled with rats?!?!?!"
11.
When she practically dragged Wendy through the mud and around the corner!
"With this very popular daytime TV host." What's that s'posed to mean?!?!
12.
When she went in on Amazon while simultaneously praising herself.
That would be a NO to the puffy Amazon packing thingys, but YES to Martha Stewart craft scissors.
13.
And finally when she praised, but then pwned herself.
Love you Martha, never stop.
