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This 7 Up "Salad" Is Why I Have Trust Issues

I'm gagging in the old fashioned way.

Yesterday my ex-friend Dave sent me a video posted to the popular website Facebook. We are ex-friends because I hate him now for sending me this video. BUT, because misery loves company, I've decided to share this video with each and every one of you, in the hopes that all 7 billion people on earth will see it and then the world can end as we know it. Anyway, let's just get into it.

The video was for a "food" called the 7 Up salad. The word salad being loosely used here.

The closest thing I can compare it to is mooshy green poo-poo after a family BBQ with lots of grilled corn.

However, to truly understand the 7 Up salad, we must look at the ingredients.

It consists of 7 Up soda. Hence the name, doiiiiii.

Marshmallows.

And Lime Jello.

There's also cream cheese in it (????).

Maraschino cherries...

...and crushed pineapple. (?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!??!)

(this gif again)

POUR IN THAT COOL WHIP.

And no matter what you do or where you are. You absolutely must not forget A HEAPING PILE OF MAYONNAISE.

Now you add the green stuff to the white stuff. Mix it up real good...

...pour it into a jello mold because apparently it's 1954.

And VWA LA! You have your 7Up "Salad."

WHO HUNGRY.

Here's the full video that I urge you to watch. I'm going to make this delicious salad for my friends on New Years. Let me know if you do too!!! Bon apple tea!!!

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