6. Stage 6: Placing the blame
“DID YOU SEE THAT CRACK?” “THERE WAS WATER ON THE FLOOR.” “I WAS PUSHED.” Look, you can blame whoever or whatever you want. Maybe there was a pile of burrito beans on the floor and you slipped on them, or maybe there was nothing and you’ve only got your shitty, feeble legs to blame. Either way you will try to justify this trip.
8. Stage 8: Telling everyone — including strangers — that you are OK
You are “fine.” Your palms aren’t bleeding and filled with tiny rock segments from the ground or anything. Just tell everyone that saw you that you are great, even better than before you fell. “Oh wow, that trip really just aligned my spine!”
- Chancellor Angela Merkel of Germany has for the first time said that she backs proposals for a partial ban on burqas.
- Mike Pence said the next attorney general will decide whether or not federal charges against Michael Slager will remain.
- The UK prison service is suppressing evidence of corruption among its guards which is fueling violence behind bars.
- Grammy nominations: Beyoncé has earned 9, including Album of the Year. Drake, Rihanna, and Kanye West each got 8 nods 💿🎶