6. He has perfectly white and straight teeth and definitely brushes at least twice a day.
8. Also his eyebrows are thick and lustrous and beautifully shaped.
9. And they are the perfect canopies for eyyyyyyyyyy — OH SORRY GOT LOST IN HIS EYES. What was I saying?
14. And his biceps are like those of Zeus.
25. The End.
- President Trump announced a new office for victims of "immigration crime" and honored the widow of a Navy SEAL in his first big speech.
- Authorities said voice-masking technology called "spoofing" was used to call in bomb threats to Jewish centers and schools around the US.
- Twitter will start relying on algorithms to identify and restrict accounts for engaging in "abusive behavior" today.
- Uber's CEO said he's "seeking leadership help" after dash-cam footage was published of him aggressively arguing with a company driver 😳