1. ❁ Dana ❁ @danajeantaylor growing my own toilet paper 07:56 PM - 23 Mar 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite 2. George @georgeattherock "I'm going out" • boring • obvious • might be illegal now? "I'm going outside for my state approved singular daily walk" • Mysterious • Kinda Soviet • Good for public health 10:06 PM - 23 Mar 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite 3. aubrey @aubreybell every other company: a message from our ceo duolingo: hey keep learning your french bitch 02:10 AM - 17 Mar 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite 4. Jack Vening @JerkVening Working from home means I can boil eggs for lunch, and don't have to carry a pre-boiled egg on public transport into the city (aka "pervert mode") 02:46 AM - 17 Mar 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite 5. 💛 dzana @DzanaAlibegic I'm sorry if I've watched your Instagram story 13 seconds after it was posted I have Nothing. To. Do. 07:28 AM - 21 Mar 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite 6. Annie Hamilton @ANNIE_HAM Changed my automatic email sign off To “the world will never be the same, Annie” 08:34 PM - 18 Mar 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite 7. Matt. @MattTheBrand my quarantine schedule: 3:00pm: wake up 3:30pm: dread 4:00pm: coffee and brooding 5:00pm: more coffee and brooding 6:00pm: anxiety attack 7:00pm: dwelling on the past 2:00am: light weeping 2:30am: dread and skincare 02:53 AM - 19 Mar 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite 8. not melba @Melbreezy_ Pollen still coming out during a global pandemic??? Bitch read the room 09:37 PM - 20 Mar 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite 9. cancela lansbury @gossipbabies How many pores does everyone have 01:42 AM - 25 Mar 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite 10. chelsea cutler @chelseacutler so far mac n cheese time has been the best part of my daily quarantine schedule 12:34 AM - 21 Mar 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite 11. JP @jpbrammer all I do is produce dirty dishes and scream 03:33 PM - 24 Mar 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite 12. Dave Jorgenson 💡 @davejorgenson It’s Tuesday, or as we call it now: day 04:20 AM - 24 Mar 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite 13. Drew Anderson @imdrewanderson your ex is going Live with your 5th grade teacher tonight at 9PM 10:35 PM - 24 Mar 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite 14. Paul McCallion @OrangePaulp me ordering delivery in February: -lazy -needlessly expensive -pathetic me ordering delivery now: -heroism -singlehandedly keeping every small business afloat -Nobel Prize in Economics 11:30 PM - 19 Mar 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite 15. 🤡💄🌈CAT MARNELL✈️🏀🎨 @Cat_Marnell When ur cooped up at home why don’t you ... wrap your throw blanket around your neck to wear as a scarf — as it looks like they do in France .. I’m not kidding .. some people over there are def wearing like full blankets .. it works too .. makes legs look skinny as well .. 03:35 AM - 24 Mar 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite 16. Mitten d'Amour @MittenDAmour A neighbour is blowing bubbles from their garden. Great, whimsical little flying blisters of plague. 10:18 AM - 24 Mar 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite 17. Liz Franczak @liz_franczak u know the quar is bad when taylor and kim are relitigating an already resolved story line from 2016 05:48 AM - 24 Mar 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite 18. patrick chung @PatrickChunq starting a new coronavirus quarantine fitness challenge!!! reply with your appallingly low daily steps total number. ❤️❤️love and light❤️❤️ mine from yesterday is: 01:11 AM - 25 Mar 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite 19. Beans After Dark @goodbeanalt I can’t name a single good thing that has happened since you were born. this is all your fault https://t.co/Np0Jbl2gBF 09:45 PM - 24 Mar 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite 20. Ben Schwartz @rejectedjokes What started as a gag birthday gift from my sister has turned into my greatest treasure. 11:46 PM - 23 Mar 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite 21. Sarafina Nance @starstrickenSF constantly having to remind myself that my chest feels tight due to crippling anxiety and not COVID-19 08:45 PM - 21 Mar 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite 22. Jon @prasejeebus Me trying to understand how some of you are "quarantining" with different people in your Instagram stories every day 04:40 PM - 23 Mar 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite 23. Jess 🍀 @jessblueberry99 How am I supposed to become a chef in quarantine when all I have is ramen and anxiety 08:47 PM - 24 Mar 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite 24. Alexander 23 @alexander23lol how many salads do u have to eat before u get a 6 pack 09:24 PM - 21 Mar 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite 25. folake aina says stay tf HOME @f0lake Mfs who bought all the toilet paper up, update us. I bet yall not even shitting like that huh 10:36 PM - 24 Mar 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite 26. Paul McCallion @OrangePaulp read a book?? I’m quarantined not a virgin 😂 06:05 AM - 25 Mar 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite 27. shalewa sharpe aka yung star krunch @silkyjumbo the first company to start an email with "shit's real out here, ain't it?" instead of "in these trying/challenging/changing times" has me as a customer for life 12:15 PM - 25 Mar 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite 28. annabel meschke @annabel_meschke [day 8 of quarantine] *look at chair* you are JEALOUS of me. you always have been 10:11 PM - 22 Mar 2020 Reply Retweet Favorite See the first two editions here and here.