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ATTENTION, OLD PEOPLE: Millennials Aren't The Problem Right Now

We are way too old.

by ,

You may have seen some crusty ol' boomers shaming millennials for partying during spring break:

Daily News | Hey, millennials, this isn’t spring break. It’s a pandemic. | Expert Opinion https://t.co/ZjIjVHmRxP

"Start taking it seriously," they say:

“One of the things that terrifies me now is, as this is spread in the west is, there’s this sense of invulnerability among millennials.” Millennials aren't taking the coronavirus seriously, warns WHO's Dr. Bruce Aylward https://t.co/Ose4I0Whph

There's only one problem...

Time for millennials on spring break to grow up. Stop swarming beaches and bars and spreading Coronavirus. Forget your selfishness. Show some responsibility like previous generations made America greatest nation on earth.

1. ...millennials are old as hell.

Public Service Announcement: The youngest Millennials are 24 years old right now. So the vast majority of college students are Gen Z and have been for years. Most spring break partiers are Gen Z. Sincerely, An old Millennial who graduated from college well over 10 years ago

2. Specifically this old:

As you all continue to discuss COVID-19, please note that millennials are currently between the ages of 24 and 39.

3. WE HAVE BAD BACKS.

I can't believe this needs to be said, but it is NOT Millennials partying for spring break rn 🤦‍♀️ Most of us are in our 30's, have kids, bad backs, & are getting laid off from our jobs. Not saying we wouldn't have done the same dumb shit, but right now it's Gen Z, got it?

4. We're just sitting at home breathing into paper bags.

Millennials are not partying. We and our anxiety issues are holed up working from home, watching Hulu, and yelling at our parents not to go outside. It's Gen Z you want

5. Don't blame us! Blame that tiny percentage of Gen Z!

Millennials. Aren't. Going. On. Spring. Break. We. Are. Too. Old. That. Is. Gen. Z.

6. We're all locked up indoors.

@he_is_gq Millennials: Doin what we supposed to do Gen Z:

7. We're balding!

MILLENNIALS ARE APPROACHING 40. MILLENNIALS HAVE MORTGAGES. MILLENNIALS ARE GOING BALD. MILLENNIALS LIVED THROUGH RAP METAL AND YET HATE THE RADIO NOW. MILLENNIALS WILL LEAVE A BAR IF IT IS TOO LOUD. PLEASE STOP SAYING “MILLENNIAL” WHEN YOU MEAN “TWENTYSOMETHINGS”

8. We're panic temperature-taking!

the millennials I know are in their mid-thirties, at home, and frantically taking their temperature every time they sneeze, I don't think we're the main generation partying for spring break.

9. We're yelling at our parents!

WHO DO YOU PEOPLE THINK MILLENNIALS ARE, EXACTLY??? BECAUSE WE ARE NOT THE ONES ON SPRING BREAK. WE ARE IN OUR THIRTIES AND WE ARE YELLING AT OUR PARENTS TO STOP GOING TO CHURCH. FUCK. https://t.co/Os74lVFJRF

10. WE JUST WANNA EAT PASTA.

People talk about all young people as "millennials" but the oldest millennials are basically 40. Most millennials are 30-somethings staying at home making Alison Roman's shallot pasta, trying to reason with their Boomer parents and freaking out about the Gen Zers on the beach

11. LET US BAKE OUR QUARANTINE BREAD.

Just a note. Gen z is the one spring breaking in Cuba. Millennials are the ones baking a shit ton of bread under quarentine.

12. And pay our student loans in peace.

PSA: Millennials are not on spring break. The youngest millennials are 24 years old. The ones on spring break and are currently college students are Gen Z. Sincerely, An aging millennial who has been paying student loans for 10+ years and is living the dream

13. We can barely drink three beers.

I don’t know who needs to hear this but Millennial isn’t the blanket word for young people anymore, lots of us have kids and shit the rest of us now get hungover after 2.5 IPAs

14. We're playing Animal Crossing!

Millennials aren’t on Spring Break, they’re playing Animal Crossing on mute during Zoom meetings while searching for home office furniture in another tab, and they’d really like their Student Loans cancelled

15. We have mortgages.

“millennials” became the word used to describe young arrogant shitheads and now i, a grown woman with a mortgage and back issues, am getting blamed for spreading COVID-19 on spring break

16. Millennials got kids!

I am a millennial. I am the mother of this TEN YEAR OLD CHILD. Millennials are not children. Please stop associating us with idiots out there celebrating spring break.

17. We're breaking our brains on Twitter!

Millennials are not the ones who are going out on spring break! We are all inside on Twitter

18. Say it with me now:

the average millennial is 33 years old. the average millennial is 33 years old. the average millennial is 33 years old. the average millennial is 33 years old. the average millennial is 33 years old. the average millennial is 33 years old. the average millennial is 33 years old.

Sheesh.

NY1

And before Gen Z starts tweeting up a storm, obviously it's a small group that's the problem. Tell them to knock it off.