Hello and welcome. I've brought you here today because I don't like to suffer alone and recently I've just been thinking about how fucked up I still am over this movie:
Don't get me wrong, I like Mars Attacks! It's a good, quality Tim Burton film. But also it scarred me for life. You know, because of these dudes:
Let me explain. They "came in peace" but like, actually didn't at all. First I thought they were kinda cute with their giant heads.
But then obviously I realized they were really not nice? Like...super mean actually. But it wasn't just that they were asshole aliens who wanted to kill all humans on earth. It's HOW they did it.
Their ray guns were scary as shit!!! One second you're flesh and bone, and then...just bone.
And then like it was just another Saturday in the park, they literally incinerated all of congress.
All of it! In less time than it takes to say Oh Sh-.
But it wasn't just those super high tech and deadly ray guns that have been seared into my brain for all these years. It's also this "lady." At first I was like, Ohhhh, look at this lady floating down. She looks nice.
But then, she literally bit off a man's finger.
Spit it out...
And we learned she was just another one of those jerk martians!
Then ~it~ took off the face completely and it was not cool! SPOOKY AF.
But wait. It doesn't end there.
Remember when that martian's head exploded in his helmet (for the first time). The thought of it keeps me up at night.
And of course, maybe one of the most triggering moments of the whole film was when we saw what they did to dear ol' Sarah Jessica Parker.
THEY PUT HER DOG'S HEAD ON HER BODY.
AND HER HEAD ON HER DOG'S BODY.
It literally still gives me goosebumps.
And then, when everything is going to shit, her head falls off and so does Pierce Brosnan's character's, so we just end up with two kissing heads, attached to no bodies. *shivers*
So yeah, in conclusion, I have to live with this trauma for the rest of my life.
