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Build A Six-Course Meal And We'll Tell You When You'll Get Laid Next

It's science.

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  1. Roasted pepper bruschetta
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    Roasted pepper bruschetta
    Pigs in a blanket
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    Pigs in a blanket
    Oysters
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    Oysters
    Caprese skewers
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    Caprese skewers
  2. Squash soup
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    Squash soup
    Broccoli and potato soup
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    Broccoli and potato soup
    Cauliflower soup
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    Cauliflower soup
    Minestrone soup
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    Minestrone soup
  3. Salmon
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    Salmon
    Scallops
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    Scallops
    Tilapia
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    Tilapia
  4. Filet mignon
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    Filet mignon
    Roasted chicken
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    Roasted chicken
    Pasta
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    Pasta
    Rack of lamb
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    Rack of lamb
  5. Caesar salad
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    Caesar salad
    Asparagus salad
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    Asparagus salad
    Spring mix salad
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    Spring mix salad
    Watermelon salad
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    Watermelon salad
  6. Sorbet
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    Sorbet
    Cheesecake
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    Cheesecake
    Crème brûlée
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    Crème brûlée
    Chocolate soufflé
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    Chocolate soufflé
  7. Via Getty Images
    Via Getty Images
    Via Getty Images
    Via Getty Images
    Via Getty Images
    Via Getty Images

Build A Six-Course Meal And We'll Tell You When You'll Get Laid Next

You got: TONIGHT!

Helllllll to the yeah. Someone is gettin' luckyyyy tonight!!!!!!! Go shave, groom, clean your room, or do whatever you've gotta do to prep. And don't forget to use protection.

TONIGHT! Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF
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You got: This weekend

After a bit of a dry spell, this weekend will finally bring you the action you've been craving. And it will be good. Veryyyyyy good.

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You got: Exactly 3 weeks from today

The next three weeks are all about YOU, and then, BAM, UR GONNA HAVE SOME FINE-ASS SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH ANOTHER HUMAN!!! It's going to be well worth the wait.

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You got: Early next year

You have a little while to wait. In the meantime, maybe go skydiving or join a book club. You'll need something to fill your time.

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Every. Tasty. Video. EVER. The new Tasty app is here!

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