Animals March Madness, Round One: Alpacas Vs. Raccoons

The final battle of round one! See the bracket here and vote at the bottom of this post!

2. Exhibit A: PEEKABOO! Haha hope I didn’t scare you.

Amy Sancetta / AP

3. I just wanted to introduce you to alpacas.

I hope you have some time, because I could go on for HOURS. These littles fellas with spectacular hair are about to jump into your heart valves and stay there forever. Below, you can find just one image of a perfect alpaca. Every alpaca is perfect, though: THAT IS THE TRUTH! —Lauren Yapalater

HO / Reuters

4. Oh, hey, what’s this? A baby raccoon with a cast? I’m sorry, did your heart just melt?

Sorry about that.

I’m sure you ~think~ you know about raccoons. Maybe you’ve heard some bad rumors about raccoons, but I think you just might change your mind about these wonderful little scamps. —Katie Notopoulos

5. Exhibit B:

UMMMM… That raccoon may look cute, but it probably broke its legs and arms while sneaking into your garbage can and dumping the whole thing over. On the other hand, here is an alpaca smiling at you. Its sole purpose in life is to make sure you are happy.


7. Alpacas aren’t the only ones with a lot of love to give:

Watch this raccoon tenderly hug his cat friend and just try to tell me you still think these guys are bad!

9. Exhibit C: R u serious.

Alpacas love dogs.

Kerstin Joensson / AP

And love to give kisses.

“HEY, EVERYONE, is that a person we can go kiss over there?”

Toby Talbot / AP


Kiss achieved.

Nigel Roddis / Reuters

15. Exhibit D: Raccoons are extremely helpful.

Also, they look REALLY cute when they’re standing up.

16. Sorry, what were you saying? I was too busy looking at these alpacas’ fabulous hair.

Alpacas are known for their stylish dos, and they never have bad hair days. Even if it looks bad, trust me, it’s good. They don’t even need to condition, it’s just natural.

21. Exhibit E: This raccoon enjoys watching some Netflix on the couch with his friend.


22. Well, this alpaca enoys watching Netflix on his computer and doesn’t need to make a mess with the popcorn.

23. Exhibit F: Raccoons are adorably naughty little scamps.

24. GAH! Does this thing look adorable to you??

The answer to that question is no. You have probably just soiled yourself, and I’m sorry if you did.

25. This fella, though: He has the face of an angel and the hair of Caesar.

Christopher Furlong / Getty Images

26. Exhibit G: Raccoons are very musically inclined:

27. Maybe alpacas can’t make music, but they can surf!

Meet Pisco: He’s a surfing alpaca. Not all alpacas can surf, but it just goes to show you how talented and wonderful these creatures are.

Getty Images
Getty Images


29. Exhibit H: Sure, raccoons eat garbage, but did you know they wash their food? It’s very cute!

30. Alpacas eat their food with dignity and grace.

Alpacas don’t have to wash their food because they haven’t pulled it from your day-old trash. If you ever see an alpaca eating from a toppled-over garbage can, CALL AN AMBULANCE because you are having a hallucination.

Don Emmert / Getty Images

32. Before you vote, please just look at these baby raccoons:

Hi, I’m just climbing this tree and thinking about perpetrating some antics.

This raccoon probably got all soggy while playing a funny prank on his friend.

35. Please vote for meeeeeee?

Sorry, voting is now closed!

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