1. Breaking and Entering
The crime: Peter Pan just broke into the Darling’s home, right through the window, and started looking through all their stuff. Ever heard of a knock on the DOOR? Ever heard of PRIVACY? Ever heard of taking your shoes off before stepping on a carpet?? This is a clear-cut illegal trespass if I ever saw one.
Sentence: Maybe a fine or a summons to court. Getting arrested before you find your shadow.
2. Drug Possession
The crime: Familiar with FAIRY DUST? Yeah, that’s right…COCAINE. Not only does Peter Pan have a personal maker of fairy dust, but he’s obviously in possession and all he needs to do to get some is smack Tink’s butt.
Sentence: Depends on the area laws, but it could be anywhere from a small fine to a few years in prison. And you have to live with yourself every day knowing you get drugs out of a fairy’s butt.
3. Drug Distribution
The crime: LOOK AT HIM JUST THROWING ALL THAT FAIRY DUST…at KIDS no less!!!
Sentence: Maybe three years in prison…or more, depending on the deal (this was obviously a big deal, look at it just floating around like snow).
5. Attempted Abduction
The crime: Look at him trying to steal Wendy from her room in the middle of the night like a total kidnapper. He didn’t succeed because she had butter on her hands, presumably because she didn’t use a napkin at dinner because her nanny is a DOG and doesn’t enforce napkins.
Sentence: Could spend to up to 18 months in prison.
6. Actual Kidnapping
The crime: After letting Wendy’s buttery hand slip through the first time, he got a good grip and ‘napped not only Wendy, but her two brothers as well!!! Not only that, but he’s making them stand on clock towers and smile like they are happy or something.
Sentence: Possible one to eight years in prison or the alternative — living in a place with mermaids where you are a teen forever.
8. Attempted Murder
The crime Here you can see Peter Pan (holder of the sword) clearly attempting to murder Hook. If it weren’t for Hook’s incredible stomach flexibility or natural thinness, he’d have been punctured and dead before you could say banana.
Sentence:: Prison for five to fifteen years. A lifetime of guilt that you tried to kill Captain Hook.
- Criticized previously for not forcefully speaking out, Donald Trump condemned anti-Semitism after bomb threats were reported at 11 Jewish centers.
- Milo Yiannopoulos has resigned from Breitbart News after he was accused of defending pedophilia in an old video.
- President Trump has named H.R. McMaster as his new national security adviser, replacing Michael Flynn who resigned last week.
- West Elm pulled the Peggy Couch from its site after years of scathing customer reviews and complaints of buttons popping off 🙈