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    36 Dad Jokes That Will Make You Laugh/Wince

    Click below each question to reveal the answer. And prepare to groan.

    1. Which farmer sits on his tractor shouting, “The end is nigh.”?

      Correct! 
      Wrong! 

      Farmer Geddon.

    1. Woman at food fair: “Why is this cake more expensive than your other cake?”

      Correct! 
      Wrong! 

      Stallholder: “That’s Madeira cake.”

    1. How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?

      Correct! 
      Wrong! 

      Deep pan, crisp and even.

    1. How do you approach an angry Welsh cheese?

      Correct! 
      Wrong! 

      Caerphilly.

    1. What do you call a ghost at a hotel?

      Correct! 
      Wrong! 

      An inn spectre.

    1. What’s the first sign of Madness?

      Correct! 
      Wrong! 

      Suggs walking up your driveway.

    1. What is Scotland’s friendliest motorway?

      Correct! 
      Wrong! 

      M8.

    1. What was the worst thing about Robin Hood’s house?

      Correct! 
      Wrong! 

      It had a little john.

    1. Why do bees stay in their hives during winter?

      Correct! 
      Wrong! 

      Swarm.

    1. What is Forrest Gump’s Facebook password?

      Correct! 
      Wrong! 

      1Forrest1.

    1. Why did the paranoid guy quit Twitter?

      Correct! 
      Wrong! 

      He thought he was being followed.

    1. What’s Urdu?

      Correct! 
      Wrong! 

      What you get from a Liverpool barbershop.

    1. What’s the scariest thing in geometry?

      Correct! 
      Wrong! 

      A vicious circle.

    1. Why are dwarfs good at maths?

      Correct! 
      Wrong! 

      Because it's the little things that count.

    1. What’s a quark?

      Correct! 
      Wrong! 

      The sound a posh duck makes.

    1. How did the football pitch end up as a triangle?

      Correct! 
      Wrong! 

      Someone took a corner.

    1. What’s the quickest way to double your money?

      Correct! 
      Wrong! 

      Fold it in half.

    1. What’s ET short for?

      Correct! 
      Wrong! 

      Because he’s got little legs.

    1. Do you know the difference between illegal and unlawful?

      Correct! 
      Wrong! 

      Unlawful means "against the law" and illegal is a sick bird.

    1. Why was the calendar depressed?

      Correct! 
      Wrong! 

      His days were numbered.

    1. What do you call a three-foot-long aardvark?

      Correct! 
      Wrong! 

      A yaardvark.

    1. Why don't owls date in the rain?

      Correct! 
      Wrong! 

      Because it's too wet to woo.

    1. Why did the barista quit his job?

      Correct! 
      Wrong! 

      He hated the daily grind.

    1. Why are there no zebras in Czech zoos?

      Correct! 
      Wrong! 

      Stripes and Czechs don't mix.