36 Dad Jokes That Will Make You Laugh/Wince

All jokes via the following sources:

1. The Mammoth Book Of One Liners, edited by Geoff Tibballs, published by Robinson.

36 Dad Jokes That Will Make You Laugh/Wince

Which farmer sits on his tractor shouting, “The end is nigh.”?

Woman at food fair: “Why is this cake more expensive than your other cake?”

How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?

How do you approach an angry Welsh cheese?

What do you call a ghost at a hotel?

What’s the first sign of Madness?

What is Scotland’s friendliest motorway?

What was the worst thing about Robin Hood’s house?

Why do bees stay in their hives during winter?

What is Forrest Gump’s Facebook password?

Why did the paranoid guy quit Twitter?

What’s Urdu?

What’s the scariest thing in geometry?

Why are dwarfs good at maths?

What’s a quark?

How did the football pitch end up as a triangle?

What’s the quickest way to double your money?

What’s ET short for?

Do you know the difference between illegal and unlawful?

Why was the calendar depressed?

What do you call a three-foot-long aardvark?

Why don't owls date in the rain?

Why did the barista quit his job?

Why are there no zebras in Czech zoos?

How do you stop a bull from charging?

Customer: "Why do these cashews keep saying nice things about my hair?"

What do you get when four giraffes collide?

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Why was the archaeologist depressed?

What do you get if you cross a soldier with a chilli?

What's the most commonly misspelled blood group?

Barman: "How would you like to buy a vodka for 20p?"

What do you do if a bird shits on your car?

What do you call Santa's helpers?

Why was the computer tired when it got home?

What do you call dyslexic owls?

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