1. Almost two years ago, Shadow Chancellor Ed Balls tweeted his own name by mistake.
16. The imaginary film endings.
The camera pulls back and we see a snow globe fall from a dying man’s hand. We cut to a close-up of his mouth, and he whispers: “Ed Balls”— Andy Kelly
*Ed Balls lies bloodied on the battlefield, cradled by a medic* “Tell my wife… urgh… tell her… Ed… Balls.”— Andy Kelly
*The Monolith pulls Ed Balls through a tunnel of dazzling coloured light* “My god,” he whispers, breathless. “Ed Balls.”— Andy Kelly