45 Things Every Visitor To London Needs To Know
Key facts to bear in mind when planning a trip to our fine capital. Photos via the mighty Shit London.
1. Our restaurants use only the finest and freshest ingredients
Photo: Charlie Blum
2. Though their preparation techniques can be somewhat puzzling
Photo: Dave Brighouse
3. And sometimes you have to wonder what goes into our meat
Photo: Simon McLelland
Photo: Patrick Dalton
4. Still, all the big-name fast food outlets can be found here
Photo: Matthew Copperwaite
5. And all sorts of refreshing beverages are available
Photo: Mike Sanders
6. You can expect to come across unusual combinations
Photo: Richard Bulch
7. And exotic services
Photo: Gareth McLean
8. Some of our food may not sound all that appetising
Photo: Simo Bogdanovic
Photo: Ryan Smith
9. And our eating establishments may not sound especially glamorous
Photo: Sonti Ramirez
10. But top-quality produce is available on every street corner
Photo: Hannah Mcqueen
11. Just be aware that not EVERYTHING is edible
Photo: Georgia Kuhn
12. Our street markets arguably leave a little to be desired
Photo: Jen Ferguson
13. And the products on offer may seem underwhelming
Photo: Angelique Neumann
14. But hey, at least we're honest about it
Photo: Sharon Day
15. Admittedly, customer service is not always all it could be
Photo: Ed Pentelow
16. And things aren't always labelled clearly
Photo: John Hackney
17. Or spelt correctly
Photo: Matt Spurr
18. Plus, the 'bargains' on offer can be disappointing
Photo: Caroline Keyzor
Photo: Laura Gilchrist
19. Our shops aren't always imaginatively named
Photo: Ana Picasso
20. And we sometimes struggle with window displays
Photo: Hayes Hickman
21. And OK, so our technology can be a little unreliable too
Photo: Chris Creature
22. Rules and regulations aren't always observed
Photo: Sophia Owen
23. But that doesn't stop us trying to enforce them
Photo: Paul Martin
Photo: Miles Gregory
24. Be warned: London is not always paradise for kids
Photo: Aysha Chaudary
25. In fact the whole place can seem quite unwelcoming to the untrained eye
Photo: Tim Bird
26. Sometimes the place is so unfriendly it can seem like even the road signs are mocking you
Photo: Steph Hunter
27. You'll get used to it after a while though
28. And, on the plus side, our beautiful parks are famous the world over
Photo: Christopher Foster-Orr
29. In fact London has more green space than any other big city on Earth
Photo: Josh Burrows
30. Meanwhile, our travel agents are out of this world
31. As a society we're so polite and considerate
Photo: Jude Padraic
32. We love to think up puns
33. We're fond of a swear word or two
Photo: John Kirk
34. Our lorry drivers are especially fond of a joke
Photo: Christian Logan
35. As are our van drivers
Photo: David John Brock
36. Admittedly some might describe our sense of humour as puerile
Photo: Andrew Crowe
37. For example, we'll never pass up the opportunity to do this sort of thing
Photo: Steve Reed
38. And it may take you a while to get to grips with all our slang terms
Photo: Peter Behrendorff
39. But Londoners are a helpful bunch, and are always happy to correct your mistakes
Photo: Gaz
40. And offer friendly advice
Photo: Saptarshi Ray
41. We have a healthy lack of respect for authority
Photo: Mark Griffiths
42. We can be highly creative when it suits us
Photo: Gurpreet Gupta
43. And we are VERY discerning when it comes to pornography
Photo: Asad Qayyum
44. So come to London! See the sights!
Photo: Andrew Huxter
45. And don't forget to tell all your friends about the time you visited the most magical, glamorous and welcoming city on the planet
Photo: Alan Gilbey
Photo: Alan Caughey
Photo: Jennifer Wilson
Photo: Jono McLeod
Huge thanks to Shit London for these photos. You might like to follow on Twitter, or even order the Shit London book.