back to top

21 Of The Absolute Worst Sandwiches That Have Ever Happened

Sandwiches: so much potential, and so much disappointment.

Posted on

1. Here is a good attempt at a sandwich. Everything in this belongs in a sandwich, which is a good sign, but this is also a total fucking mess. Not a good sandwich.

2. All the parts are good – the whole, a dismal failure.

3. Mayonnaise and tomato. Oh, plus pepper. Gotta have some pepper, that really makes it.

4. A toast sandwich, because happiness is a myth and joyful people should be dismissed as not important.

5. Now, here is some real effort, but this is still a bad sandwich I'm afraid. Hash browns are better than bread, yes. But not in a sandwich. Also that turkey looks crap.

6. This cheese is the colour of an orange that's been hit with a ton of radiation. This cheese is the colour of Aquaman's suit, and Aquaman is a shit superhero. This cheese is the colour of Donald Trump's forehead.

Also, just with tomato?
imgur.com

Also, just with tomato?

7. Ramen should not go in a sandwich.

8. Don't put kiwis in a sandwich. This is nonsense.

9. This is olive oil on bread. Fuck off.

10. Here is rice in a sandwich of two chicken fingers. The thing is, this isn't necessarily bad. If you had this rice, next to the chicken fingers, it'd be just a bit of a crap meal. The rice looks bland, and you can do better than chicken fingers. But when you try to make it a sandwich, it just defies all sense. Why.

Also, is someone trying to eat said sandwich with a spoon?
imgur.com

Also, is someone trying to eat said sandwich with a spoon?

11. No.

12. Most of this is bad and should not be treated with any respect. But my main focus is on that red thing, and I say "thing" because it is not clear what it is. A crushed tomato? Ham, possibly? Some sort of dried ketchup? Play-Doh?

13. OK, I'm now suspicious someone is stretching tomatoes. Is that a thing? Why would someone be stretching tomatoes?

14. This sandwich is a true disaster. No joy would come from this. Also, ban open-face sandwiches.

15. This ham sandwich, which is literally a ham sandwich. Nothing but a ham. The platonic truth behind the idea of a ham sandwich.

Arguably, this is the purest ham sandwich, but that raises the question of whether purity is a good thing – perhaps ideological purity of purpose seems like a good thing, but is in fact too simple an approach to yield true success, because while this is definitely a ham sandwich, because while in no way can this not be described as a ham sandwich, it is, at the same time, a shit ham sandwich.
imgur.com

Arguably, this is the purest ham sandwich, but that raises the question of whether purity is a good thing – perhaps ideological purity of purpose seems like a good thing, but is in fact too simple an approach to yield true success, because while this is definitely a ham sandwich, because while in no way can this not be described as a ham sandwich, it is, at the same time, a shit ham sandwich.

16. This is not an improvement.

17. This is rice, and soy sauce, and mayonnaise. That's too many carbs, to be clear. Also, stop putting mayonnaise on the bread.

18. You should treat the sandwich with respect, and that is not what has been done here.

19. I don't know what this is but it looks like the stuff you find in your shoes after you've worn them for three days at a pretty wet festival, a festival where you ideally would have changed them cause they got a bit damp, but ugh, you got kinda drunk and decided to just go with it, but you're really regretting that decision because you think you spilled some cider on them at one point and as a result your feet have sort of melded to the plastic, and there's all these bits that might be skin or might be glue or cloth or some sort of rubber, but yeah, those bits are in this sandwich for some reason.

20. There are highly trained chefs weeping in the corner right now. That's what you did to them, with your popcorn and your squirty cheese.

21. Oh fuck off. This is just being shit. Actively and aggressively shit.

UPDATE

So, it appears that an item originally in this post at #7 (an ice-cream sandwich) is in fact a Singaporean delicacy. In which case, I'm sure it's delicious! A version with English bread and ice cream would not be nice. Sorry for the mistake in including it.