Lived on Kingsland Road?Been drunk on Kingsland Road?Thrown up on Kingsland Road?Been thrown up on on Kingsland Road?Been to Alibi?Been to The Nest?Been to Birthdays?Been to Dalston Superstore?Been to Dalston Superstore in the daytime?Been kicked out of any of the above?Hooked up with someone at The Haggerston?Struck out with someone at The Haggerston?Know a pub that does pints for less than £2?Found a bar that does pints for more than £6?Found a pub that actually shows football?Been to a bar in a basement?Know someone vox-popped by Vice?Been vox-popped by Vice?Worked for Vice?Eaten food from a stall that doesn't exist the next day?Not been sure how people actually live in your house?Accidentally got drunk with a minor celebrity?Not realised who a minor celebrity was until the next day?Have more Twitter followers than Facebook friends?Have more Instagram followers than Twitter followers?Stopped using social media entirely?Worked in a bar?Worked in a bar while telling people you do something creative?Worked at something creative and not made any money?Worked in an office and told people you work in a bar?Ignored an invite because it was south of the river?Left a night out elsewhere, because something interesting was happening in Dalston?Decided on a favourite craft beer?Been to a gig where you didn't know any of the bands?Been to a club night with a brand new genre of music?Stopped shopping at American Apparel because everyone else was?Shopped at Beyond Retro?Stopped shopping at Beyond Retro because everyone else was?Shopped at a pop-up for the two weeks it existed?Decided on a ranking of burgers across East London?Had a friend who has a more interesting job?Had a friend who's marginally famous (in the right circles)Had a friend who makes more money at a more interesting job?Had a regular chicken shop?Had a regular chicken shop where you get given bonus wings?Discovered cuisine from a country you didn't know existed?Had a favourite coffee shop/art gallery?Tried to grow your own food?Tried to build your own furniture?Had a piece of furniture you found on the street?Had a piece of art you found on the street?Had a piece of art that you have no understanding of?Had a random unexplained object that you assume came from the street?Decided you prefer the Overground?Called the Overground the East London Line?Signed the petition against stopping late-night licenses?Slept with someone and seen them waiting for the bus a few days later?Been to art school?Discovered a normal shop that also sells drugs?Seen graffiti that made you genuinely question your life choices?Eaten a full meal at 4am?Slept with someone who later turned out to know all the same people as you?Realised the awesomeness of Dalston Liquor World?Smoked weed?Found out the difference between Methadone, Methedrone and MephedroneTaken MDMA?Taken cocaine?Taken ketamine?Taken speed?Taken LSD?Taken something that you weren't sure what it was?Made hash brownies?Made hash cookies?Made hash lasagne?Made a decision to go out at 3AM?Had a full beard?Had a moustache inspired by the fashions of the 18th century?Hooked up with someone with excess facial hair?Had an asymmetrical haircut?Contracted an STD?Contracted multiple STDs?Read Time Out to find out about new openings?Pretended not to read Time Out to find out about new openings?Read Dalstonist?Pretended not to read Dalstonist?Owned a bike?Fixed a bike?Had a bike stolen?Stayed up for 24 hours straight?Stayed up for 36 hours straight?Stayed up for 48 hours straight?Stayed up for 72 hours straight?Worn skinny jeans?Worn worker boots?Worn brightly coloured socks?Worn brightly coloured socks, and rolled up your jeans to show them off?Worn shorts at inappropriate times in the winter?Worn a really small beanie?Considered moving away from The Strip?Had a late-night revelation that Dalston is everything?
How Dalston Are You?
You are basically not even from London. You live somewhere outside London, but don't really care about London anyway. Because why should you?
You're South of the River. You went to Dalston once and didn't like it. You're happy to enjoy life on your terms, without worrying about what other people think.
You're Kensington. You can be a bit cool, but basically you don't get why everyone gets so caught up with being trendy. Just have some fun!
You're Soho. You can get a bit dark, but you don't need to get that weird. And everything in Soho makes more sense.
You're Hackney. You're getting there, but you don't go to Dalston that much. You're all about going crazy without spending too much time trying to be cool. Plus, there's more interesting stuff elsewhere.
You're Shoreditch. You're all about the trends, but you don't want to get your hands dirty. At least not that dirty.
You're a bit Dalston. Maybe you haven't really lived there properly, maybe you're just leaving when you can. But give it a little while, and you'll soon be a true Dalstonite. If you want that...
You're very Dalston. You know most of the people you pass (because you slept with them) and have a usual in multiple different bars. In fact, you've worked in most of the bars.
You're the Ruler of Dalston. If there was an Iron Throne in Dalston, you'd be atop it, surrounded by hipsters and kebabs.