Can You Tell Which Headline About East London Is Actually Real?

Dalston is fun, but Dalston is also very silly. Headlines from Dalstonist.

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  1. 1.

    instagram.com
    Hot tubs have been set up in a tube station so you can watch Top Gun
    There's a bar in Dalston that is showing The Goonies on a loop for an entire year
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    I feel the need for sitting down in some warm bubbly water.

  2. 2.

    instagram.com
    There's now a pop-up that serves your meal entirely in smoothie form
    Here's your chance to eat brains in a Dalston bomb shelter
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Yum!

  3. 3.

    instagram.com
    Hackney's first Seapunk club night is happening next weekend
    Dalston's first Super Mario Kart Grand Prix is on this weekend
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    It's a Mario!

  4. 4.

    instagram.com
    Pop-up bar Super Hands is opening in Clapton this weekend
    Pop-up bar The Swan & Paedo is opening in Clapton this weekend
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    It doesn't have a washing machine.

  5. 5.

    instagram.com
    The Haggerston is named the best spot for a Tinder date in London
    The Cock Tavern has been named Beard Friendly Pub of the Year
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Useful information.

  6. 6.

    instagram.com
    Every World Cup sticker ever made is on show in Haggerston
    There's a huge game of hide and seek taking place in Haggerston next month
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    The World Cup stickers are on display.

  7. 7.

    instagram.com
    You should party in this Stoke Newington hardware store this summer
    You should party in this London Fields motorbike shop this summer
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Because motorbikes and alcohol go together well.

  8. 8.

    instagram.com
    This Hackney pub just installed the first craft beer vending machine
    There's a bar that serves mead under a kebab shop in Kingsland Road
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    An important development.

  9. 9.

    instagram.com
    The UK's first cereal cafe is being planned in Shoreditch
    The UK's first marshmallow cafe is being planned in Shoreditch
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Dream achieved.

  10. 10.

    instagram.com
    Every bench in London fields will be equipped with Wi-Fi by the end of the year
    Clowns are worried they won't be allowed in Dalston any more
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Poor clowns.

  11. 11.

    instagram.com
    A pop-up insect restaurant is opening in London Fields
    A pop-up quinoa restaurant is opening in London Fields
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Too far.

  12. 12.

    instagram.com
    You can do paint-by-numbers graffiti on the outside of a Dalston art gallery at the moment
    Naked people are posing as assassins for you to draw tomorrow
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Yep.

  13. 13.

    instagram.com
    Free toasties are being given out in an urban forest in Dalston on Friday
    Free coffee is being given out at a pirate ship in Dalston on Friday
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Pirates make good coffee.

  14. 14.

    instagram.com
    Twigs from De Beauvoir are selling on eBay for more than £50
    You can buy bottled water from Dalston online now
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Twigs are big buisness these days.

  15. 15.

    instagram.com
    Naked speed dating has arrived in Hackney
    Smell-based speed dating has arrived in Hackney
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Mmmm.

  16. 16.

    instagram.com
    Analysts say Hackney is officially the coolest borough in London
    Analysts say Hackney is officially the least relevant borough in London
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Obviously.

Can You Tell Which Headline About East London Is Actually Real?

Not very good. Have you ever been to East London?
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Pretty good. But maybe you need to spend some more time exploring Kingsland Road.
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Nice. You clearly know East London pretty well.
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