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The 20 Hottest Male Celebs According To 17-Year-Old Me

In 2003 I took to LiveJournal to rank my favorite hotties.

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This is my contribution to What's Something Awesome You Made When You Were a Kid? (Assuming 17 still counts as a kid. It does, right?)

In November of 2003, there was a LiveJournal hotness ranking meme: the goal was to pick 20 of your crushes and rank them according to sex appeal. Before you judge my list, keep in mind that it was 2003. And that, as my friend Anna noted at the time, my taste is "whack."

20. Shia LaBeouf

This was pre-Transformers. I was weirdly obsessed with Project Greenlight and The Battle of Shaker Heights.
Miramax Films

This was pre-Transformers. I was weirdly obsessed with Project Greenlight and The Battle of Shaker Heights.

19. Peter Krause

I wasn't really watching Six Feet Under, but I had leftover feelings from Sports Night.
HBO

I wasn't really watching Six Feet Under, but I had leftover feelings from Sports Night.

18. Mo Rocca

I loved I Love the '80s. More importantly, I loved the men of I Love the '80s.

I loved I Love the '80s. More importantly, I loved the men of I Love the '80s.

17. Jake Epstein

Who wouldn't swoon over Degrassi: The Next Generation's Craig Manning.
CTV

Who wouldn't swoon over Degrassi: The Next Generation's Craig Manning.

16. Jimmy Fallon

Yeah, he was hilarious on Saturday Night Live, but did you know he also had an album that I bought and listened to a lot?
NBC

Yeah, he was hilarious on Saturday Night Live, but did you know he also had an album that I bought and listened to a lot?

15. Michael Ian Black

See above re: Mo Rocca.
VH1

See above re: Mo Rocca.

14. Adam Pascal

Would you light my candle, Adam?

Would you light my candle, Adam?

13. Adamo Ruggiero

You better believe I was in love with the actor playing the gay character on my favorite Canadian melodrama. Yes, dumb hair and all.
CTV

You better believe I was in love with the actor playing the gay character on my favorite Canadian melodrama. Yes, dumb hair and all.

12. Chris Carrabba

I was listening to Dashboard Confessional constantly at the time. And all I wanted was for Chris to want me. For Chris to need me. For Chris to nooooootice me.

I was listening to Dashboard Confessional constantly at the time. And all I wanted was for Chris to want me. For Chris to need me. For Chris to nooooootice me.

11. Chris Pratt

Before Zero Dark Thirty. Before Parks and Recreation. It was all about Everwood.
Warner Bros.

Before Zero Dark Thirty. Before Parks and Recreation. It was all about Everwood.

10. Adam Brody

Weirdly, I wasn't even watching The O.C. I just knew I loved Seth Cohen.
FOX

Weirdly, I wasn't even watching The O.C. I just knew I loved Seth Cohen.

9. Kieran Culkin

I saw Igby Goes Down on my 16th birthday. It left an impression.
United Artists

I saw Igby Goes Down on my 16th birthday. It left an impression.

8. Tom Lenk

I mean, duh. He was the closest thing Buffy the Vampire Slayer had to a gay character.
20th Century Fox

I mean, duh. He was the closest thing Buffy the Vampire Slayer had to a gay character.

7. Rodrigo Santoro

It was 2003. Love Actually was big. Weren't we all a little bit in love with Rodrigo Santoro?
Universal Pictures

It was 2003. Love Actually was big. Weren't we all a little bit in love with Rodrigo Santoro?

6. Ethan Hawke

I was very into his Hamlet. And thus began an unfortunate obsession with jerks in douchey sunglasses.
Miramax Films

I was very into his Hamlet. And thus began an unfortunate obsession with jerks in douchey sunglasses.

5. Jason Lee

Remember Heartbreakers? What a movie! This was also during my Kevin Smith phase.

Remember Heartbreakers? What a movie! This was also during my Kevin Smith phase.

4. Cillian Murphy

28 Days Later: seriously scary, surprisingly sexy.
Fox Searchlight Pictures

28 Days Later: seriously scary, surprisingly sexy.

3. Nicholas Brendon

Really, though, I just wanted to be Xander.
20th Century Fox

Really, though, I just wanted to be Xander.

2. Jake Gyllenhaal

Listen. It was 2003. You thought Donnie Darko was the greatest movie of all time, too.
Newmarket Films

Listen. It was 2003. You thought Donnie Darko was the greatest movie of all time, too.

1. Ian Somerhalder

Rules of Attraction was my sexual awakening. The dance in front of the mirror. The dance on the bed. The Ian Somerhalder-James van der Beek makeout scene. There went the last lingering thread of my heterosexuality. Good riddance.
Lions Gate Entertainment

Rules of Attraction was my sexual awakening. The dance in front of the mirror. The dance on the bed. The Ian Somerhalder-James van der Beek makeout scene. There went the last lingering thread of my heterosexuality. Good riddance.

In the interest of fairness, I also ranked the 20 hottest women. It was mostly just the celebrities I wanted to hang out with: Thora Birch and Scarlett Johansson (hello, Ghost World), Jena Malone (Donnie Darko again), and yes, Daria.

20. Daria Morgendorffer

19. Emily Van Camp

18. Marguerite Moreau

17. Christina Ricci

16. Emma Caulfield

15. Charisma Carpenter

14. Allison Mack

13. Penelope Cruz

12. Thora Birch

11. Claire Danes

10. Alyson Hannigan

9. Neve Campbell

8. Parker Posey

7. Evan Rachel Wood

6. Clea DuVall

5. Julie Benz

4. Jena Malone

3. Joey Lauren Adams

2. Keira Knightley

1. Scarlett Johansson

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