This is what it would be like if major cities were your boyfriend:
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Firstly, don't expect L.A. to be on time.
"Sorry. Traffic on the 101. Ugh."
And Portland will certainly ride in on fixed gear.
Las Vegas will probably bring a girl he met by the pool to dinner.
San Francisco will be on the phone the whole time and ask you what startup you work for.
Chicago will freak TF out when you put ketchup on your hot dog.
Miami will want to go dancing, but it won't be where you think.
New York won't be into the fact that you dated L.A.
Austin will swear they're nothing like their conservative parents.
And it will probably end when L.A. finds out you're not a casting director.
