1. "Two days before my wedding, my mother-in-law asked me (in front of my family, who had come in from out of state) if I was sure I wanted to marry her son. She had already indicated to me that she was not enthusiastic about us getting married. Then, at our wedding, I learned that she had called everyone who was coming to the wedding to tell them they didn't need to bring wedding presents, as they'd given presents at his first wedding eight years earlier, which didn't last more than two years."
"Needless to say, his parents never gave us a present, and they didn't even show any positive emotions during the wedding."
—65, Michigan
2. "I've been together with my partner since ’06, engaged in ’07. We set the date for our wedding (our anniversary) and shared it with his family. Within the next month, his brother announced his engagement and wedding date (the weekend before ours). Then his cousin announced her engagement and wedding date (the weekend after ours). So with a lot of people who would be traveling (almost none of his family lives here), it put people in a place where they were going to have to choose. These dates were not of any significance to the others; they just said, 'It’s just what we want,' and they wanted us to change our date."
"So now it’s 2023 and we’re still together, but not married. Really made me think about whether it was important because it’s societally expected or it’s what I wanted…and I don’t need a piece of paper, a beautiful wedding, or to be the focus of attention. Also, it made me rethink the relationships we had with those people who intentionally tried to create drama. Thank you, no."
3. "I was definitely not enough for my mother-in-law's firstborn son. The day before our wedding, his family got upset about my head table setup. My soon-to-be ex-husband has both parents alive and each had their partner, so they were four on his side of the table; I had only my mom and her partner on my side, since my dad passed away a few years prior. I added my grandma on my side, since she basically raised me, so it would add a third person on my side of the table. Their family made a crisis out of his grandparents not being at the same table we were at, so I had to change my plans and sit my grandma with her brothers and sisters. His mother even said, 'It's not our fault that they're all dead on her side.'"
"Wow. Thanks. And at the end of the evening on the wedding day, my MIL was drunk and complained to my friends that her son should have married his prior girlfriend before me. Naturally they told me, so the link was broken."
4. "I’m fat (important for later). I was invited to be a bridesmaid at my brother-in-law's wedding, since my husband and his brother are twins. Up to this point, all of our interactions had been cordial, so I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. I did my best to stay out of the way as my brother-in-law's future family acted as if they had just been introduced to drinking. The bride’s mother got blackout drunk and told everyone her daughter could do a lot better than my BIL. The bride’s sister confronted me when I was alone eating a slice of cheese (the first time I had eaten all day), telling me I was embarrassing the bride because I was so fat and was falling out of my dress. And the bride's brother tried hitting on me — I was there with my husband!"
"I didn’t know what to think. Even now, when I run into these people in passing at holidays, I make no eye contact and ignore them."
5. "A few weeks leading up to my wedding to my now-ex-husband, his mom and grandmother called us, begging to invite an estranged family member they barely knew who had just reentered their lives. We explained we were on a budget and had to cut the list significantly in order to have everything we wanted for the day. His grandmother guilted us into inviting her, so we did. Fast-forward to the day of the wedding, and the woman didn't show up because she wasn't invited with a plus-one (we've never spoken to the woman; how would we know she had a boyfriend?). She traveled from MARYLAND, only to stay in the hotel room 10 minutes away while the wedding was happening."
"She was even staying in the same hotel my ex and I were at and didn't even try to come to say hello or apologize for wasting our money. My ex-FIL also caused a scene, saying that we purposely didn't buy a corsage for his wife, my ex's stepmother, when it was an oversight by the flower company. I had to apologize to her after the wedding AND send flowers in order for her to talk to me again. Clearly, I should've run, and with family like this, we can see why it didn't last."
—30, New York
6. "My husband's aunt and a family friend decided at our reception to take over catering, including putting food away so nobody could have seconds, insisting on having a cake ceremony, selecting their own music (I worked so hard on the playlist), and taking the leftover wine. My brother-in-law was the photographer, and he stole the mic and made us start playing games and insisted that we both have someone do a toast. Of course he did my husband's, and I had my brother do one with two minutes' notice."
"BUT we had a very untraditional wedding because we had already eloped, and we wanted it to just be a regular party with no gimmicky wedding traditions. They sprung it all on me in real time, so to avoid looking like a jerk, I went with it."
7. "My mother-in-law was late for our wedding and then waltzed in wearing a bridal white dress. I ignored it, but a lot of people were mortified on my behalf."
8. "My partner and I got engaged, and we were planning our wedding. It was a given that we were having it on my parents' property — we didn't even have to ask. My mother's friend, whom I'd known since I was a kid, made my dress. My parents set us up with a great caterer and constantly reassured me that they were going to pay for anything we couldn't; it was all smooth sailing and zero stress...until I found out my brother and his wife weren't getting my nephew vaccinated AT ALL. We don't agree on a lot of things, but I had hoped that they would be understanding about the fact that I didn't want an unvaccinated 3-year-old around a bunch of strangers from all over the country."
"I very gently and politely asked them not to bring him to the wedding. My brother's response was cold and vague. Then, a couple of hours later, I got a call from my mother. She was hysterical, screaming about me telling my brother and sister-in-law that they were no longer invited (my brother was supposed to be my best man, so not true at all), and how could I let something as 'stupid' as my nephew's health interfere with the wedding. I tried to explain that I hadn't uninvited them, just asked them not to bring my nephew — which led to more histrionics and screaming on her end, resulting in my dad getting angry that I'd upset them so much and yelling at me for being 'cruel.' They announced that they were no longer going to let us have the wedding at their place, pay for anything, etc.
"Fortunately, my partner's parents are wonderful, and when I called my FIL in tears over what to do, he immediately offered his house (with less than three weeks of notice) and asked what we needed him to cover for us. My MIL and SIL took care of the cake and decorations, and almost every one of our guests was happy to relocate to the new location. A few even told me they were happy my family wouldn't be there, as they were tired of watching them try to manipulate and control me.
"My favorite was when my uncle pulled up with my grandparents in tow, and I burst into tears because my father had told me he'd called all of my family members and told them not to come because I was being so 'disrespectful.' I told him that, and he gave me a huge hug and told me, 'My brother's an asshole. Of course we're here. We love you!' Really eased my anxiety, and while our wedding wasn't what we pictured, it was relaxing and fun, and I loved getting to marry the love of my life surrounded by the people who truly loved us."
9. "On my wedding day, my mother-in-law (who can’t hold her alcohol very well) decided to get a bit too tipsy at the reception, and in a VERY loud voice called me a 'slut' and laughed loudly about it. I don’t even know why. I had never cheated and hadn’t even been with anyone else, ever — not that it would have been her business. She insisted later that it was the alcohol talking and she didn’t mean it, but my whole family heard it. I always felt that I was never good enough for her son, in her eyes…and this was her tipsy way of telling me what she thought of me. She apologized half-heartedly later, and I moved on."
"I’ve been happily married to my husband for almost a decade. He’s my best friend and partner, and I adore him. I do my best to be cordial and friendly with my mother-in-law, as it seems that she's tried to turn over a new leaf and is polite to me too. We mostly discuss my child (her grandchild). In the back of my head, though, I always wonder what else she’d really like to say…"
—Late 30s, Canada
10. "After living together for 10-plus years, my husband and I decided to elope. We literally went to the county clerk's office, got our marriage license, and had a friend of mine who's ordained file the paperwork for us. The next day, we decided to have his siblings (my husband is the youngest of nine, and both of his parents passed long before I met him) and my mom and two sisters over for a Labor Day cookout and mini celebration. Well, his eldest brother absolutely refused to come because he didn't 'understand' why we eloped. He made a huge scene when my husband announced it to his family."
"My husband is so soft-spoken and would never disrespect his siblings because he was raised by them from the time he was 5. So for his brother to do this to him, I know he was heartbroken. I have never gotten along with a couple of my sisters-in-law, but even they came because of how bad they felt for my husband. Not one person from his family congratulated us or anything, and I know my mom was really disappointed to see the way they acted toward me, but I married my husband, not his family. Two years later, I still don't get along with the one brother and I probably never will, and another one of his sisters has made it her life's mission to show my husband what kind of woman he married, although after 12 years together, I think he knows."
—33, Texas
11. "My father-in-law bribed us to invite his buddies to our wedding. I said 'No, who are these people, and if they're that important, why haven't I met them in the last five-plus years?' My ex-hubby sided with his dad."
12. "I was 13 when my brother got married. My sister-in-law's younger sister and I looked a lot alike, so we were flower girls. The rest of the wedding party was my SIL’s family; my sister was hurt that she wasn’t involved. My SIL’s family was always very snobby and aloof, for what seemed like no reason. The day of the wedding, we showed up and I went to get ready with the rest of the wedding party. Everyone was milling around doing each other’s hair and makeup, and they all had special jewelry and hair clips. I was completely ignored. No one even acknowledged me, let alone helped me get ready."
"Fortunately, my sister was able to do my hair and makeup, but I had to go the rest of the wedding without the special jewelry and hair clips. I was so devastated, I barely kept it together, but I cried a lot afterward. My mom was so pissed but didn’t say anything. My SIL’s family is even more toxic now, and she’s pretty much gone no contact with them (they’ve been married 35-plus years). We all have a really good relationship with her, but it's a little triggering looking at their wedding photos. I mean, who ignores a child? But her family did a good job for years of pretending and acting as if we weren’t part of the family."
13. "My now-husband’s mom is incredibly difficult. He’s low contact with her anyway but wanted to include her in our wedding. She agreed to do hair and makeup with the bridesmaids and my mom, but then she backed out about three weeks before the wedding (fortunately, the wife of a groomsman was able to get hers done for free, since it was already paid for). She then announced two weeks before the wedding that she wasn’t coming anymore because she didn’t have a ride and her hair was a mess. She finally agreed to come but called my husband 10 minutes before the ceremony was supposed to start to say she was going to be late."
"He decided to stick with the original timeline, so she missed the whole ceremony but magically managed to appear just in time for pictures and the reception, which she had been bragging about online for weeks despite not being involved with the wedding planning at all. She also refused to do a mother-son dance with him. I’m now no contact with her, and my husband is extremely low contact."
—35, USA
14. "My husband and I got married in the summer of 2020, obviously peak COVID time. By the time we were a month away from our supposed wedding date, the UK government still hadn't confirmed whether weddings could restart over the summer, but it was starting to give the impression they might be. My husband and I knew we didn't want to reschedule because there could be another surge later in the year, and we didn't want to be perpetually suspending and then reorganizing the day (in retrospect, good call by us), so we started to discuss 'worst-case scenarios,' like what if weddings restarted but we were only allowed to have a max of two guests, or three, or five, or a tiny number like that. We finally agreed that we'd invite the best men and maid of honor and our parents if that were the case."
"We gave this info out to family, and my mother-in-law and father-in-law were really inconsiderate about what a crappy situation we were in. They kept complaining that my sister-in-law should be invited and tried to guilt-trip my husband into uninviting one of his best men (he had two) so she could come instead. He kept pointing out that it was only a 'just in case' scenario anyway, and neither of my brothers would get to attend either. They just said, 'Oh well. Her brothers won't mind. They're younger and boys. They'd probably be bored during the ceremony anyway.' It turned out that when weddings restarted, we were allowed enough guests to have all our immediate family there. But it was really frustrating to be in that situation, where they were trying to control our guest list in the most unprecedented and totally not ideal situation that could possibly have happened. We didn't even know if we'd legally be able to get married until three to four weeks before the wedding, not to mention that all our prior plans ended up dropping. We obviously didn't want to make such harsh decisions about the guest list but were just being prepared. It was just about the most stressful situation a bride and groom could possibly be in, and yet they still heaped on some added family drama! All for a SIL who would have attended on Zoom and didn't even seem to be bothered anyway."
15. "Not my wedding, but I can say my grandparents and aunt are insufferable. First, they forced my uncle and his girlfriend to have a shotgun destination wedding to save face. My aunt then decided to bully the bride because she was from a different region (she is from Lyon, France, and my family is from Rennes). They ruined the wedding by revealing the pregnancy in the toasts and speeches."
"My uncle and now-aunt are still married 10 years later and took the wise decision to move very far away from his parents and sister. They are mostly no contact."
—Anonymous, France
And finally...
16. "My in-laws were married 26 years, and I know this because we were at their 25th vow renewal. Then, the Monday before our wedding (on that coming Saturday, with 400-plus family and friends invited), they announced their divorce. They couldn't wait ONE WEEK to tell their son, or after our honeymoon?! So selfish, and my husband was beyond hurt and upset."
"It's been years of working on relationships, but our wedding memories are tainted by their selfishness."
—42, USA
What's the wildest thing an in-law did at your wedding? Let us know in the comments below.
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.