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21 Of The Most Selfish, Rude, And Messy Things In-Laws Did At Weddings — Like, You'll Be Fuming At These People

"My in-laws complained about things that we just honestly couldn’t afford to add (e.g., more flowers, more guests, a plated dinner, etc.). They have a lot of money and never offered to help in the areas they had complaints in — not that they were obligated to do so, but it made it hard to continually hear comments about how 'trashy' our wedding looked when we had a limited budget. I carried some shame walking into my wedding day, as if it was embarrassing to them and their friends and family."

We recently asked the BuzzFeed Community to tell us the wildest things their in-laws did at their wedding. Here are the most shocking results:

1. "During the bouquet toss, my now-former sister-in-law shoved my sister so hard that she caused my sister to fall. Of course, I was aiming for my sister, and for more context, the evil sister-in-law already had a partner of 10 years. When I found out what had happened (not from my sister, but from other guests), I demanded that she give the bouquet back, and I then gave it to my sister."

"On top of that, my ex-mother-in-law got pissed because I refused to have a 'money dance.' I had to tell my band at the reception to announce that there would not be a money dance. Just nasty, disrespectful people. I'm amazed that I actually stayed with my ex-husband for 22 years. LOL."

—60, New Mexico

A bride holding a bouquet

2. "My in-laws (MIL, FIL, and SIL) all ruined my wedding. We had a destination wedding in Hawaii. Prior to the wedding, my SIL decided I was not good enough for her brother, so she hated me. Since my FIL and MIL offered to pay for our wedding and my SIL controls them, she ended up changing my dance floor color, flowers, and music behind my back. She refused to get ready with the rest of us, wore black 'cause she said she was 'going to a funeral,' made a scene before I walked down the aisle, made one of my bridesmaids cry, and wished I went overboard the day before my wedding when we were all on a boat."

"My FIL's speech was even about his daughter, not his son who got married. I was cringing the whole time and couldn't wait to leave the island. This only made my husband and me stronger; we are on better terms with my MIL and FIL now (they apologized profusely), but my SIL is still a narcissistic brat."


A barefoot bride and a man sitting by the ocean

3. "It was my sister's wedding. I’d like to make it clear, my sister strongly dislikes kids, and it gives her anxiety to see them at events. At her wedding, her mother-in-law decided to accept a babysitting job that day. Her MIL then brought the 2-year-old to the wedding, because why not. In the invite, it was specifically a no-kid wedding. So not only did no one know who this kid was, but my MIL barely even paid attention to the kid and got drunk."

"My sister likes to make sure everyone else is having a fun time even if she’s not. I would’ve taken care of the child, but at the time, I was very pregnant and needed to constantly sit. So my sister spent her whole wedding taking care of a child she didn’t know because she insisted that the guests enjoy themselves when they offered to help. After the groom asked his mother to leave, the MIL caused a HUGE fuss about how my sister was manipulating and stealing him away from her. They're still happily married without her in their life."


Young child crying

4. "Not my MIL, but someone in her family (I have my suspicions) took ALL the leftovers from my buffet-style wedding by directing the waitstaff to put it in their car. Traditionally, it should’ve gone home with my parents or my husband’s mom so we’d have something to eat the next day. But no, they took everything, and my parents didn’t get the leftover food they paid for."

"The same people took all of the cookies from our cookie table (local tradition; you have a cookie table, and every guest can take some home). Once again, no one else got to take any, and there was a TON of cookies. My husband and I had to take the small plate of food and cookies my dad snagged for himself that he drove over the next day. It’s even ruder because my husband’s family contributed NOTHING financially, not even any cookies. No big deal, but don’t feel entitled to everything and leave nothing for anyone else!"

—32, Pennsylvania

Cookies, cakes, and petits fours on a table

5. "Bride here. My former mother-in-law offered to help with wedding preparations, which was thoughtful. I stamped and addressed all invitations, and they just needed to be dropped off at the post office. MIL offered to drop them off because she worked by the post office. Fast-forward to the wedding, and the groom's side of the church is full. My side has literally, like, three people, all of whom were my family. I began to cry and my MIL said, 'Oh, I’m sorry; people are probably busy.' I overheard my MIL talking to some of her family saying how sad it was that no one showed up and how embarrassing that must be for me. She was right: I was mortified and heartbroken, but I tried to make the best of it."

"Weeks after the wedding, my father-in-law asked me to get his eyeglasses out of their truck. During the hunt for his glasses, I found all my stamped, addressed wedding invitations that my MIL was supposed to mail, crammed under the passenger seat in a plastic shopping bag. The return label on the invitations made it easy to tell if the guest being invited was from the bride's side or the groom's. My MIL had only mailed invitations for her son, which is why I had no one from my guest list show up for my wedding. When I confronted her, she said she dropped the box and didn’t realize she'd missed mailing any invitations — 150 invitations were to be mailed, 75 for each side. Uh, convenient that the only ones not mailed were from my guest list. Also, convenient that the invitations somehow were placed in a plastic bag and crammed under the seat. MIL also made last-minute changes to the reception menu and seating chart. I know everyone is probably shocked that the marriage did not work out."

—35, Texas

Stacks of invites

6. "My husband and I went to the courthouse for a very small wedding. It was just going to be an elopement with our two witnesses, but our mothers found out and insisted on being there. My husband’s mom flew from New York to our very small apartment in San Francisco the day before the wedding. She stayed on our couch the night before and complained the entire time. The worst part was that at the ceremony itself, when we were saying our vows, she stepped in between us and started fiddling with his boutonniere. So here we are having this incredibly important moment, looking into each other's eyes, in the middle of our vows, and she’s right in between us!"

"The officiant stopped the proceedings, asked her to step back, and then continued. Our witnesses later told me that she was the most obnoxious woman they had ever met, and they weren't wrong. Nine years later, my husband has cut ties with her toxic ass, and our life is significantly less stressful!"

—39, Connecticut

A man in a suit and bow tie and wearing a corsage

7. "Our wedding was at my house (at the time, the house was only in my name, and my husband had only moved in the week before). After the ceremony, my mother-in-law said, 'I need to go lie down; where's my room?' My husband asked, 'You mean a room you can use?' 'No,' she said. 'Where's MY room?' Come to find out, she had purchased a one-way plane ticket to our wedding and fully expected to move in with us, on our wedding day."

"Without mentioning it to us beforehand or finding out anything about my house (which was tiny and had no spare beds). We spent a good portion of our wedding day making calls to find someone she could stay with, and a few days later,  we bought her a plane ticket back to where she lived. On top of that drama, my new brother-in-law sat with my sister-in-law's date in our living room for hours after everyone else was gone, ignoring increasingly blatant hints to leave. Finally, my husband said, 'Dudes, get out,' and they said, 'We can't. SIL is our ride, and we don't know where she is.' She was drunk and passed out in the parked car (it was a dry wedding too, so she must have had a stash in the car). They haven't improved one bit over the years, and they now all live much closer. Husband and I get a lot of practice holding firm boundaries!"

—46, USA

A person holding plane tickets

8. "My husband and I got married after five years together. We picked our wedding date a month after we got engaged and let our families know right away. His oldest brother had been with his girlfriend (now-wife) for eight years. Everyone was waiting for him to propose. He finally did on the New Year's Eve before my wedding in the summer. After my now-SIL got engaged, she asked us if they could get married the month before our wedding and picked two weekend dates and asked if that worked for us (one day was my final dress try-on, and the other was our final walkthrough). I rescheduled our final walkthrough so that day would work and we could attend. They then changed their minds and said they'd get married in the fall after our wedding. A few weeks later, my husband’s sister called my husband to let him know that their brother got their marriage license and was now planning on getting married two weeks before our wedding without telling us."

"This was the day of my husband’s bachelor party, which his brother and the best man knew about and said he couldn’t attend. My husband and I were obviously upset that they were planning on getting married without us knowing about it or inviting us, while also inviting both sets of parents, aunts and uncles, and their sisters, so it wasn’t as if they were eloping. We asked that if they got married, could they just let my husband’s extended family know before our wedding so it wouldn’t be surprise news for them on our wedding day. They felt as if we were interfering with their plans and decided to postpone the wedding (for the second time). They finally got married a few months ago in the courthouse, just the two of them, but it definitely caused a lot of unnecessary drama leading up to our wedding day."

—29, USA

A calendar with "Wedding day" written in with a heart

9. "My husband’s bio dad (he was raised by his unproblematic stepdad) tried to talk my husband out of marrying me several times because I’m white and he’s Black. We decided to still invite him to our small, private, family-only ceremony. He told us he was coming. The day of the ceremony, he called and said he'd missed his flight. OK, no big deal — we told him we could postpone. It was, after all, a private ceremony with just family, so a delay of a few hours wouldn’t be a big deal. He told us it wasn’t worth the hassle of trying to find another flight, so he was already heading home. I’m now pretty positive he never had a flight to come in the first place."

"We had our wedding, and it was great. Fifteen happily married years later, and we don’t have much of a relationship with him. We tried, even after he asked right after our wedding if the reason his son married me was because I was pregnant (I was not). Oh well. Thankful for my husband’s wonderful stepdad."


A flight taking off as seen from inside an airport

10. "We had a party bus bringing the bridal party and our parents from the house to a very large public garden for first-look photos before the ceremony. My mother-in-law made us all late heading over because she 'couldn't find' a variety of items (the story changed every time someone asked). We get to the gardens, and my MIL is not impressed by the area the photographers picked and says, 'Why aren't we by the pretty flowers?' A bridesmaid and my photographer politely explain to her that the light is the best where we are, in a slightly shaded area. She says, 'This is where people come to hide and pee in the bushes,' and proceeds to venture off on her own to find 'a better spot' without telling anyone where she's going."

"She gets lost, and we have to send groomsmen out to search for her so we can make it on time to the church. This is all while she is wearing a custom floor-length, white lace dress, obviously."

—30, Canada

Groomsmen and bridesmaids standing outside

11. "First, one of my now-husband’s sisters came up to visit several days early, dropped her kids off, and took off on various tours and day trips. We were trying to get ready for our wedding with 70 total guests, and 20 people actually staying in our home, and we had to watch her kids. Then they were late to our backyard wedding because they were visiting with my now-husband’s ex-wife. Then two of the sister’s preteen kids started digging a tunnel in our gravel driveway. When confronted, she packed up her family and went to stay with my husband’s ex-wife."

"Another one of his sisters left on foot when her husband got drunk. Then my husband had to kick his grown son out of the wedding because he got sloppy drunk. For us trying to have a simple, backyard wedding with no drama, his family sure brought it. Twenty years later, we are still together, but I keep my polite distance from all of them."

—49, Alaska

People clicking their glasses together

12. "My mother-in-law came and stayed with us four days before the wedding. Two days after she arrived, she told my husband not to marry me — she had someone else for him. At the wedding, she was told that since it was close friends and family, the food would be a buffet. She came and ordered me to serve the food to the guests — and she got angry when I told her no. While we were on our honeymoon, she unwrapped all the gifts, took the gift cards and cash, and threw away the cards so we did not know whom to thank for what."

"She insulted my cooking (we made all our food) and insulted my mother and my daughters. She insulted several of the guests. My husband and I have been happily married for 18 years. She and I have had no contact since the wedding. She keeps trying to invite herself to our home, but my husband and I do not allow her to visit."

—57, USA

A tiered wedding cake

13. "My sister-in-law showed up at our long-planned wedding party and announced her engagement that had taken place — earlier that day. She and her fiancé spent the party going around showing off her engagement ring. Some guests were visibly uncomfortable because it was apparent to everyone how inappropriate it was. They knew what they were doing."

—35, North Carolina

A woman showing off her engagement ring  and hugging her fiancé

14. "My MIL arrived 10 minutes before our ceremony, missed pictures getting ready with my husband, and wore black pants, a sweater, and sunglasses. It was cocktail attire, and she’s the mother of the groom. She never once spoke to me except to ask for a picture with her sisters; never said congratulations or anything. There isn’t one picture of her smiling or looking happy for us. Quite the opposite — she looks as if she may as well be stabbing a voodoo doll."

"She was so rude to my husband's friends; they’d introduce themselves and she’d roll her eyes and walk away. She talked badly about us all night at her table, and all of our friends heard. She cursed at friends, our planner, and guests and then proceeded to request that my husband wait outside with her for an hour for her car service — while our wedding was happening and we had guests! She then cursed him out in front of friends and family when he told her to wait inside. She embarrassed him and left without saying goodbye. She didn’t come to brunch the next day. My husband was so embarrassed and hurt by her; it was so sad that she couldn’t at least give him one day and be happy for him. Needless to say, we haven’t talked to her since. It’s been a year."

—Anonymous, New York

A photographer taking a group photo at a wedding

15. "The wedding with them was tough all around. Even during engagement through planning, it was a really stressful relational experience. Right off the bat, my in-laws VERY generously offered to pay for our honeymoon. We spoke with them about budget, location, and what they would need from us (and we were very appreciative). Then, a month before the day, my husband spoke to them to make sure everything was lined up and got blank stares, and they said, 'Oh no…we aren't paying for your honeymoon,' as if we had done something to them. When my husband asked why the change, they simply said it wasn’t something they felt like giving anymore."

"It was surprising, but we ended up being able to book somewhere else in time and pay with a credit card. They also complained about how we were planning the wedding, and it was so terrible that I was in tears the night before and half the day of; there was a total lack of understanding of or care for the budget for the wedding that my husband and I were paying for, with a small contribution from my parents. So all of their complaints were about things that we just honestly couldn’t afford to add (e.g., more flowers, more guests, a plated dinner, etc.). They have a lot of money and never offered to help in the areas they had complaints in — not that we wanted them to or that they should have felt obligated to do so, but it made it hard to continually hear comments about how 'trashy' our wedding would look when we were working within a very limited budget. I carried some shame walking into my wedding day (as if it was embarrassing to them and their friends and family), and it started off our relationship with them on a really challenging foot post-marriage. I look back and sometimes wish we had eloped, and wonder if it would have saved some stress those first years."

—30, Arkansas

A jar with a "Wedding" label on it

16. "It was my brother's wedding, but our stepmom is one of the most toxic people we've ever met in our lives. To this day, I have no idea what my mom saw in her. Anyway, my mom has a difficult time traveling, and my brother and I worked together to bring her to his wedding. Of course, our stepmom was invited as a plus-one, but starting before the trip, it became all about her."

"She demanded that we find a better hotel for her and pay for it, which my brother did. She insisted on driving instead of taking the train. And then she arrived and began announcing how she didn't like the decorations, didn't like where they were getting married, didn't like the officiant, didn't like the flowers, etc. My brother and future sister-in-law tried to mostly stay out of it, but because no one was listening to her, our stepmom attempted to become more controlling. Finally, she picked a fight with me, and I told her off, so she went silent and didn't talk to anyone until after the wedding, because I 'ruined it' for her."

—38, Massachusetts

A table setting

17. "My now-husband and I couldn't afford and didn't want a huge wedding, so we landed on City Hall in Manhattan. Just us and a photographer in February — New York City romance to the nines — getting married, and then taking pictures where we had our first date. We are excited and have everything ready to go, but we need a witness. My husband (admittedly a momma's boy) asks if his mom can be our witness. It would mean a lot to him and her. OK, fine, I can compromise! He asks, she accepts, except she doesn't want to go into the city alone and meet us, so can she bring his dad? My husband says yes, despite his father being a jerk who has previously ruined other family gatherings. Well, if Mom and Dad are coming, can his sisters come — oh, and the sister's boyfriend?"

"Well, if his whole family is coming, I have to invite mine! Long story short, our little City Hall wedding turned into spending HOURS getting nine people from Queens to Manhattan, through security, and packed into a waiting room; we had to get three UberXLs every time we changed location. It wasn't the worst, but I had really wanted to spend the day with my husband where our relationship started. Now, when I look back, all I remember is how much I hated everything and how stressed I was."

—33, New York

A man getting into a car held open by another man

18. "My mother-in-law and father-in-law nitpicked (or at least voiced judgment) about what felt like everything leading up to the day (the date, the location of the venue, the chairs the venue had, the wording on our invite, the fact that my dress was strapless, etc.), when they weren’t paying for any of it. They insisted on walking my husband down the aisle even though he didn’t want that, but he agreed for them. Then, literally five minutes before the wedding, my MIL said she wasn't walking him down the aisle, and my mother literally was outside hugging my crying husband. Someone convinced her to change her mind, but the damage was done, and my husband was an emotional mess throughout our ceremony because of her."

"Later, when we were taking family portraits, my MIL refused to come outside for them. ('If they want to take my picture, they can bring the camera to me,' she told my poor sister, who was simply the one running inside to let them know.) My husband’s uncle yelled at her until she came out, but sheesh. And then they left the wedding without even saying goodbye to me, their new daughter-in-law. Also, this didn’t happen the day of, but my MIL refused to do the mother-son dance. My husband at the time tried to act as if it didn’t bother him, but he ended up admitting to me years later at a friend’s wedding that weddings are sometimes hard for him because it’s hard to watch the mother-son dance he didn’t get. All of it still pisses me off. They couldn’t put aside their own selfish desires for their son for just that one day."

—31, Missouri

Upset-looking man wearing a suit and corsage sits with his hand holding his face

19. "It's my ex-MIL, but at my first wedding, she did multiple spiteful things. First, she showed us the dress she planned to wear — and I'll be honest, I was taken aback by the fact that her boobs were basically hanging out of the halter top. But still, I didn't comment on it (even though my ex agreed with me that it was wildly inappropriate). I did say to her that I had hoped she would wear a color other than black, since her entire side of the family always showed up in black to weddings, and it would be nice for her to stand out. She responded by getting pissed off and refusing to show me the actual dress she bought for the wedding until the day of."

"She also wanted to decorate our cake topper, which I didn't want because it was tacky looking, but I agreed, as long as she didn't use any flowers on the beautiful Lenox piece I had picked out. She, of course, glued tons of flowers to it and paraded it around my bridal shower, just as she did with the glasses she bought us. I ripped the flowers off, though, and when she confronted me about it, I told her I had specifically asked her not to, and she said she didn't care. Finally, she was mad at us because we wanted to pay for the favors ourselves (she paid for his older brother's wedding favors, and because of that, she wouldn't let them choose their favor), so we opted to pay ourselves. She was mad about this and because I didn't want Jordan almonds given out because I'm allergic, so she brought a crystal bowl from home to the wedding and filled it with the almonds — and personally handed them out during cocktail hour. My ex found out and made her throw them away."

—37, New York

Person scooping almonds from a bowl

20. "My parents-in-law have been married for 40 years and share the same home, but they don't even speak to or acknowledge each other. When my husband and I got married, we knew this would make for an interesting family gathering, as they'd be forced to spend time together with everyone and also my extended family, whom they'd never met. They didn't speak to each other once the entire weekend, and while my MIL was pleasant, my FIL smacked his gum all night (you can see it in photos), got drunk with our brother-in-law, and proceeded to harass and mock an old family friend of 30-plus years for being drunk at the wedding as well."

"He also went around and ate/stole the majority of our favors, which were color-coordinated candies at our guests' individual place settings, and wrote me — just me — a card with Scripture about how to 'have a successful marriage and be a successful wife in the eyes of God.' He has not been welcomed back to any parties since, and it's been five years."

—Anonymous, USA

Small boxes wrapped with bows

And finally...

21. "You've heard of 'shotgun' weddings? In about 1985, my younger brother was getting married in a small, outdoor wedding in the rural north Georgia mountains. My father, a Baptist minister, was officiating. Before the vows, the mother-in-law-to-be drove her car up to the couple, pointed a shotgun out the window, and told her daughter to get in the car. After a brief discussion, they drove off. We all went home. My brother never saw her again."

—59, Vermont

YIKES. Have you had to deal with wild in-law drama over your wedding? Feel free to share your story in the comments below, or, if you'd prefer to stay anonymous, you can use this Google form.

Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.