We recently asked people of the BuzzFeed Community who have been on a reality TV dating show to tell us what it was like. They shared their own experiences on TV and the experiences of people they knew who gave it a shot. Here are the fascinating — and surprising — results:
Note: While we can’t 100% confirm the following stories, these people are supposedly speaking from their own experiences as alleged former dating show contestants.
1. "I was on The Undateables in 2018 just before graduating from university; while I didn't find love, I still had a good time with it. The people working on it genuinely care and want the dates and stories to be a success. There are character traits taken (with me, it was loving hugs and being honest to a fault) and edited, so it looks like that's all there is to you when it really isn't. I wasn't mad at how I was portrayed, but I'm definitely more pessimistic with a darker sense of humor."
"As for behind the scenes, there was a surprising amount of footage edited out, which I understand, but it's sh*t considering the number of takes I had to do walking into a hairdresser's and asking about an appointment. I also questioned the producer about the title of The Undateables, and he explained that it's already copyrighted, so to change it would be confusing."
2. "Not me, but my dad back in the '90s. He was in a show for blind dates, and he actually won — which meant he and his date could go on a vacation. Parts of it were broadcast. It was all paid for, but my dad says it was all staged and that they were directed to show affection and say things for show. My dad and the woman had absolutely no romantic click whatsoever, but the crew made them fake it."
"After the show, they lost touch, and he’s now happily married to the love of his life, my stepmom."
—21, Netherlands
3. "I was on ElimiDate right before it ended back in 2004. I eliminated women until it was down to a couple of blonde twins and a Russian woman taking turns feeding me chocolate-covered strawberries (I was on a mystery episode or something like that, so the twins were my surprise date). I chose the Russian woman since she went to the university I was about to start at, and she was pretty cool. Went back to her house after the show was done filming and spent the night there."
"We went on a few dates after that, but it didn't end up working out, sadly. So, no serious relationship for me, but it actually was a lot of fun filming!"
4. "Not me, but my mom. She was on a reality show about single moms looking for love again. I was on it, too, but I was really young at the time, and my mom wanted to keep me out of the spotlight as much as possible. I don’t remember much about the whole experience, but I do remember that they took us on multiple all-expenses-paid vacations, which was super nice. I also remember the host of the show hiring actors to play my mom's students while they shot at a much nicer school. And at one point, they asked my mom, 'Are you hopeless?'"
"At the end of shooting after a year and a half, they tried to get her to say she was in love with the guy she picked, and when she didn’t, they edited it in anyway. Oh! And the name of this show? Help! I Need Love!"
5. "I know a woman who was on that MTV lie detector dating show, Exposed. She already had a boyfriend, and the guy already had a girlfriend. They told her to lie at least twice, and one of them had to be a big one. She kissed him once for the camera, and they never spoke again. She got an extra $500 for 'winning' the date."
6. "I was on a dating show as well, and it did not result in a serious relationship. What did happen, though, was a decent paycheck for being on the show, a few dates with the person and some sex, and realizing that we were not able to be in a serious relationship."
7. "My friend was on the MTV dating show Parental Control, where your parents are supposed to pick you a new date because they hate your S.O. They told my friend to act like a moron, and he did, then they hired two actors the parents picked; after the show was over, they never spoke, and she stayed with her boyfriend."
8. "I worked with this guy who was in a committed relationship with his girlfriend. She went on that Tila Tequila show, A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila, just to try to get publicity. She 'won' (Tila picked her as the one she 'wanted to date' at the end). I sincerely doubt any of the men or women on the show had an actual romantic interest in Tila, or her in them. It was entertaining at the time only because we knew her boyfriend."
9. "I was a contestant on Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire? I was a starving grad student, had never been to Vegas, and figured the millionaire would pick a blonde; I'm brunette. I was right. I had a week in Vegas, all expenses were paid. It was completely legit. Nothing was scripted. There was a huge backlash from that show, but I honestly had a great time, knew I wouldn't get picked, and can tell you it was completely real."
10. "A friend of mine was on Is She Really Going Out with Him?, where she supposedly went out with this guy I knew from high school. They're both actors and completely fictionalized being in a relationship for the show. Everything that they did, said, and everywhere they went was planned, aside from a little improvisation as far as dialogue goes."
11. "A woman I know was on the first series of the Australian show, The Farmer Wants a Wife. They got married, are still married, and now have kids."
12. "I was on an episode of MTV TailDaters and...no, it did not end well. After the show, we'd see each other out and about, make some small talk, but that's about it."
And finally...
13. "My family friend was on the MTV dating show, Room Raiders. I heard that MTV looked for people in the local town, and her mom somehow got her on the show. Of the three women, she was first to be eliminated. When the guy went through her room, he found poems of self-deprecation, which were really just song lyrics. He thought she was a bit 'scary' from that. Here comes the kicker — her boyfriend called her cellphone while the guy was in the room."
Have you — or someone you know — been on a reality dating show? Tell us about it in the comments below. Or, if you prefer to remain anonymous, feel free to use this Google form.
Note: Some submissions were pulled from this Reddit thread by u/eagles85 and this thread by u/schweatyball, and some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.