We recently wrote a post where people shared subtle differences between "old money" and "new money." In the comments, more readers from the BuzzFeed Community chimed in with their observations — and many shared their firsthand experiences with the rich. Here are the fascinating results:
1. WHISPERS OLD MONEY: "We were family friends with a woman from our church who was old money. I had no idea how freakin' wealthy she was until we got to know her and her family better. All of them were kind, generous, and great fun to be around. None of them were pretentious, and they never mentioned their wealth."
"They’d throw fun neighborhood parties where the kids could swim in their pool and eat barbecue. I loved all of them. New money? My first-hand experience with new money: Ugh. Nasty. NASTY."
2. SCREAMS NEW MONEY: "I went to the most expensive high school in my state. Since it was a boarding school, we had serious old money from all over the world. The bit about how old vs. new treats staff and how nice or rude they are is spot on. The very worst kind of nouveau riche are the kids of first-generation movie stars."
"Oh, and it's funny, but I just realized recently that at most schools, the parents without jobs are poor. At my school, the parents who didn't have jobs were the richest."
3. WHISPERS OLD MONEY: "A lot of these differences are true in retail as well. At Nordstrom, it was almost always the people who were dressed down that paid a small fortune, were super appreciative of your time, and never returned anything. I mean, chances are that T-shirt and those jeans cost more than my entire paycheck, but that was because they would usually buy quality, timeless pieces that they’d then wear for years and years."
4. SCREAMS NEW MONEY: "On the other hand, new money would say things like, 'Do you know how much money I spent here last year?' while yelling at you because something is out of stock. And half the stuff they did buy would end up returned having clearly been worn."
"I always went above and beyond for the old money people, trying to find them what they were looking for, because they were just so nice about it. They'd say things like, 'It’s okay, really,' and I'd say, 'Nope, it says we have one in stock somewhere. I’m going to find it and have it sent to you.' I’d be determined and on a mission. (On the flip side, I definitely probably could have found what new money wanted somewhere, but I’m not going to spend a vast amount of time on it when you’re yelling at me and being rude.)"
5. WHISPERS OLD MONEY: "It originally threw me off when an old money woman, whose dog I watched, started asking for additional services but not about cost. I realized she wasn't asking to have it for free; instead, I learned to treat every service as if it was a special gift, and then just tack on added service fees that she always paid without question."
"It was great to have a dog paying my rent in LA for a while."
6. SCREAMS NEW MONEY: "When they're desperate to prove they worked harder than other people, are more extraordinarily disciplined than others, or more genetically gifted to justify their wealth. In reality, there's undoubtedly just the luck (and underlying guilt) of the right place, the right time, and the right amount of privilege to profit off a good situation they've been dealt."
"For reference, see every tech wealth weirdo, influencer, and certain reality TV stars and their obsession with discussing their extreme forms of dieting/'cleansing,' exercise, and bragging about how they work around the clock or start their morning at obscene hours."
7. WHISPERS OLD MONEY: "My experience is that those with long-term wealth are NOT monetarily generous. My maternal grandmother and others in her social circle (they live in the American South) are the epitome of 'old money,' and they all are extremely frugal. They rarely tip (at restaurants and salons) or give additional monetary gifts to house staff beyond that of their salary."
"I’ve watched them slip a dime or quarter into the collection plate at their church and attend black-tie charity events without paying for their plate or providing any donation (they’re all generous volunteering their time). They never speak of money and denigrate displays of wealth. Ultimately, I think it’s the individual person and not their socioeconomic class that primarily dictates behavior, but from what I’ve witnessed firsthand, old money is synonymous with excessive penny-pinching."
—drlc
8. SCREAMS NEW MONEY: "The difference is how they spend their money and the importance of money in their lives. For the so-called 'new money' owners, money is itself the success and ultimate; however, for the so-called 'old money' owners, money is just the stairs to climb and reach success."
"Secondly, many of the new money owners got their money in a short span of time and at a very young age with the urge to spend on the things they dreamed about. In contrast, the old money owners got money with hard work and savings at a much later stage in life, when they are mentally balanced with limited demands and no urge to spend money except for the well-being of society."
9. WHISPERS OLD MONEY: "When it comes to hired help, I think it comes down to the people who grew up with help vs. people who come into the wealth to afford the help. The people who grew up with service staff were most likely brought up to show appreciation by older generations who didn’t have the same luxury when they were younger."
"I’m talking Depression-era old money. The people who are awful to the help because they’ve come into money as adults see it as an entitlement for having so much wealth. That said, I’m sure there are 'old money' people who are awful to service staff because it’s always been available to them, and they consider the help to be disposable."
10. SCREAMS NEW MONEY: "From my experience in LA, I would say new money is more 'look at me' when they donate to charity than old money is. That’s been a noticeable difference."
11. WHISPERS OLD MONEY: "Old money genuinely believes they are worth more and therefore have nothing to prove. They think class division is normal, and therefore, the help is normal, and there is etiquette to respect."
"New money may find themselves uncomfortable in these types of hierarchical situations; the discomfort comes out as arrogance. It’s annoying and hard to justify a superior worth when you know deep down, it isn’t really justifiable to that degree. They are also probably busier, stressed, and preoccupied with managing their wealth — they know what there is to lose. Old money has no clue of what life is without all the access, possessions, and power. Both unfortunately tend to forget their money comes from somewhere, and that’s probably someone else or someone else’s resources and luck historically. With great wealth comes great power, and no one individual has the capacity to own up to the wealth that today's disparity has created. Humans messed up big time."
12. SCREAMS NEW MONEY: "New money are 100% a-holes. I work in retail now. I can easily see the difference in those who grew up 'old money' vs. 'new money.'"
"Most of you may disagree, but this is so true. I grew up on both sides. We lost our money in the crash of '08. My grandfather was always humble. I didn't even know how much money the family had until my grandfather drunkenly told a guy I was seeing. He treated everyone around him like family. My grandfather taught me to have respect and work, unlike the 'new money' who 'worked hard' just to look down on others."
13. WHISPERS OLD MONEY: Old money says, "'I've had money for so long that I no longer think about it, and I don’t worry whether something is expensive or not. I don’t need to care if I look like a hobo when driving around in my 30-year-old Volvo. I’ll never know what it’s like to worry about the cost of anything.'"
14. SCREAMS NEW MONEY: New money says, "'I’ve worked incredibly hard to get where I am. Nobody thought I could succeed. There were days that I had my power and water shut off and worried about how I would feed my family. So yeah, I want the naysayers to see how far I’ve come. And yes, I still look at and question every line item on my invoices because I never want to go backward.'"
"It’s called perspective, folks."
15. WHISPERS OLD MONEY: "The thing about old money and politeness is that they’ve seen their parents and grandparents behave in ways that may seem unusual today, especially with the help. In previous generations, thank-you notes, tips, gifts, and civility were important signs of being well-raised. It wasn’t just about money, but people with money would also extend those niceties to the staff, which they had…if that makes sense."
"New money would not have seen generations of having staff and treating staff as kindly as, say, a friendly neighbor. Also, old money fears one thing: a bad reputation. One sure way to kill loyalty and discretion is to be rude and abusive, so I guess there’s always been some self-serving motivation in there, too. Happy help doesn’t gossip. I certainly wouldn’t."
16. ALSO WHISPERS OLD MONEY: "My mom was a cleaner for an old money family, and the woman was the best. She had a basement full of arcade games, an air hockey table, a games closet, and a ping pong table that we were allowed to hang out in while my mom cleaned. She let us swim in the pool, gave us popsicles and cookies, and even took my sister out once in her vintage red convertible."
17. SCREAMS NEW MONEY: "I live in a place that’s being gentrified by new money, and the entitlement is off the charts. They’ve created a parallel community so they don’t have to rub elbows with the rest of us poor people."
18. WHISPERS OLD MONEY: "I also had a boss who came from an old money family, and he drove a Subaru hybrid and always wore New Balance sneakers. He also had absolutely no idea how money worked. He thought we were selling a couch for $500 at our yard sale. Like, sir, have you ever been to a yard sale? He was an a-hole, but he wasn’t super entitled."
"Like, neither one of them deserves to hoard wealth, but in my personal interactions with rich people, I prefer dealing with the old money types. I know their ancestors enslaved my ancestors, but the new money types are trying to do the same thing today, and that creeps me out more."
19. WHISPERS OLD MONEY: "I have a lot of clients who are old money, and they are super polite. The ones who are jerks are the ones who married into money; they have been mean and demanding to the staff. When it comes to clothing, new money definitely likes to wear head-to-toe logos to show off. Old money does wear high-end designers; they just don’t flash logos."
20. SCREAMS NEW MONEY: "I work in an affluent neighborhood, and I can definitely tell the difference between new versus old money. It’s absolutely true that new money are pretty much jerks and flaunt their wealth and status."
"Old money are at least outwardly pleasant to deal with. They can still be jerks sometimes, but not in the way new money is."
And finally...
21. WHISPERS OLD MONEY: "I think it's more personality types and how they are with their money. My dad's boss is old money; he's kind to my dad, he talks to him like an equal instead of the 'help,' and over the years, has gifted him furniture, clothes, bottles of whiskey, and soap (he didn't like the scent and asked my dad if he wanted it). His oldest son, though, is not that kind and can be full of himself, and is known to excessively splurge."
"The son once had his recently built home completely destroyed because he didn't like it and had the team completely start over. Since it was new, all the material could have been resold to prevent waste, but he insisted on destroying it since he didn't want anyone to have it. The way he acts, you'd think he was 'new money.'"
If you've encountered wealthy people who were old money or new money, what were your experiences like? What are some other signs of "old money" vs. "new money"? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.