Clothing optional at pretty much all times.
You are not limited to one shelf in the fridge/pantry.
Food does not mysteriously disappear from your fridge.
Dirty dishes in the sink are way less annoying when you’re the one who didn’t wash them.
No need to be quiet during sexytimes.
No judgey witnesses if you tow home a random or your ex.
You get the whole bed.
No passive aggressive roommates.
You can keep things as gloriously clean as you want and no one will come barging in and mess things up.
For women: Don’t have to be dragged into the dreaded syncing of menstrual cycles.
You do not magically walk into a fully cleaned house unless you were the one scrubbing.
No judgey roommate to check your terrible decisions.
Working from home gets very, very lonely.
The pets ignore your rants….But you find yourself talking to them way too much. And not in a friendly forest animals way. Nope.
No one is there to drag your ass out of the house.
You are solely on the hook for the rent.
All that crap and clutter is entirely your fault.
Good luck with that fat, hairy spider. I’m sure it’s so afraid of your screams.
You hear a noise, can’t blame it on a roommate, and think someone has broken in (but it was actually just the bed springs.)
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