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17 Reasons Why Swimming In The Ocean Is Actually The Worst

So. Damn. Terrifying.

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1. When a tiny particle touches your leg and you instantly assume it's a shark.

2. When you see a jellyfish (plastic bag) float by and run for your fucking life.

3. When you're watching a giant wave head toward you and instantly wonder who will make it to your funeral.

4. When you come to realize that the ocean is one big toilet bowl and everyone is 100% peeing.


5. Especially when you hit that warm spot and know it's definitely not from the sun.

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6. When you tell your friends you can't go in the water because the waves are ~too big~.

7. When the fear of getting seriously injured while crossing the path of a boogie boarder is almost too much to bear.


8. When your feet can't touch the bottom.

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9. When you survive a riptide and retire from oceans forever.

10. When you feel a fish tickle your foot and actually lose your shit.


11. When your friends are begging you to join them in the ocean and you're about no?

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12. When you get salt water in your mouth, making you wanna die.


13. Or even worse — when it gets in your eyes and you think to yourself, this is it.

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14. When you're constantly shuffling your feet so motherfucking stingrays don’t get you.

15. When your back is turned and a giant wave hits you like an asshole.

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16. When you feel the touch of seaweed on your nearly naked body.

17. And finally, when you get sand so far in your nether regions someway, somehow.

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