Amy Schumer is a train wreck and she knows it. Honestly, who doesn't love a girl who owns up to her not-so-proud moments?! In celebration of her new film out Friday, appropriately titled Trainwreck, we sat down with the comedian and her castmate Vanessa Bayer to play a little game we like to call "Never Have I Ever." As expected, there were many wonderful revelations.
We're going to play Never Have I Ever, so flip your paddle to either GUILTY or NO WAY! for each question. Your answers will be turned into GIFs. Got it?
Amy: GIFs. That's like what you get on Hanukkah.
You wake up in a strange bed and don't know where you are.
Vanessa: Does it have to be with someone or can it just be like, alone? I feel like we did this comedy tour like a week ago and we'd wake up and be like...
Amy: ...are we in Seattle?!?! Yeah, it has felt weird lately. Where am I right now?
(For the record, we were in L.A.)
You've thrown up in a cab.
Amy: I've thrown up in a car, but not a cab. Does that count?
BF: That counts.
Vanessa: Oh, me too!
Speaking from experience, what advice would you give others who throw up in cars?
You wake up and realize you drunk-texted your ex the night before, "Are u up?"
Vanessa: I think I've done something similar. I'm gonna go with maybe.
Amy: Usually what happens is they'll text me the next day and I'll be like, "Why is he texting me?" And then I look and be like, "Oh."
You forgot to put on underwear.
Amy: The camera guy's like, "I KNOW!"
You're about to hook up with a guy and realize you haven't shaved your legs in weeks.
Vanessa: I don't care about shaving my legs.
Amy: My vagina looks like that tree behind you.
Vanessa: Well, I feel like it's because we both have, like, pretty light hair.
Amy: Yeah, we're so lucky. Let's take some time with this one.
Vanessa: I feel like when you have lighter hair, like if you're a redhead or a blonde, hair stuff is so much less of an issue.
Amy: We are fucking lucky.
Your phone falls in the toilet.
Vanessa: You HAVE to pick it up.
What do you do?
You show up to work wearing the same outfit you partied in the night before.
Vanessa: I don't know. I don't know if I've actually ever done it.
Amy: I have.
Amy: Nobody wears green the day after St. Patrick's Day.
You have plans to meet your grandmother for brunch but haven't yet slept due to partying.
Amy: You never went on a cruise with your grandma?
Vanessa: I don't go to brunch with my grandmas.
You get ready for work and look great, and somebody asks you if everything's OK.
Vanessa: Yeah, I do feel like when I get ready for work people will be really shocked like, "Wow. You look nice."
Amy: They're like, "Did you shower?" and you're like, "I tried it! I don't know, it felt weird."
You add a shot of vodka to your Starbucks latte.
Amy: That sounds very gross. I've added booze to most things, but not that. My first NO WAY!
BF: Thank god.
You had a one-night stand with your ex-boyfriend's roommate.
BF: That sounds pretty bad. How'd you get through it?
Amy: Well, it was easy! I left in the morning and went and got a bagel.
You show up to a formal event and realize that you're dressed totally inappropriate.
You pull a muscle during sex.
Amy: Every time I think I've hurt myself.
BF: Do you say anything about it?
Amy: Yeah! I'm like, "I have a cramp, can you PLEASE grab my foot? Can you rub my foot?" It's usually after drinking and you're dehydrated so your foot cramps.
Vanessa: That's what causes them?