When my ex suddenly ghosted me after a year and then married someone else and had a baby, I went online and bought a bag of candy penises and sent them to him at his office with a note that said, “eat a bag of dicks.” It was only $10 more for the explosion of dick confetti when he…
With the exception of the last one, all those other lying sacks of crap are in for a shock when their kids find out. You know why? Someone always knows and someone will tell your kids. And they will stop trusting you when they find out about your previous marriages and the child you…
Yeah, I have said some profoundly stupid things online (and in real life), and yet I still somehow managed to never tell a child to kill themselves. Yes, people can and do change, but Chrissy is garbage all the way to the bone. So are the people defending her, frankly. She’s not being…
This makes me furious every time I see it. It's not that you don't pull it past your knees (I can't quite picture where mine are right now) it's that no one pulls them all the way down to their ankles, which is what they do in movies. NO ONE DOES THAT.
I dumped a guy once because he told me that the pinch chain I used when walking my dog was "harming her throat chakra." I told him he better leave my place before I punched HIM in the throat chakra.
While watching a movie at my place, he was snacking on cheetos. Then I saw him wipe his fingers on my blanket. He wiped his cheese fingers on my blanket! I asked him if he would like me to get him a napkin, and went he said no, then I just asked him to leave. And take his cheese fingers…
I don't know if this is just a thing where I live, but most of the weddings I've been to (we did this at ours too) have a toonie bar. $2 per drink, and it recovers the cost of most of the booze without asking people to fork over a lot of money. It also means people are less likely…
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