Urinal of Death Strikes Again

Hygiene not a problem at Charlie MaCheeky Hospital Matron Mildred Buggspread denies that ‘cooties’ and ‘goggas’ are out of control in her ward. “We used to have a serious infection control problem, but we’ve sorted that out. “We no longer allow rats weighing more than 5kg into the ward without a leash”, says Buggspread who once had to wrestle a 4 foot rodent for the remains of her KFC Family Feast. “I’m a firm believer in rinsing one’s hands at least twice a day”, she continues. “But water doesn’t grow on trees”. Much of the water in the hospital has indeed been diverted to the giant urinating cherub fountain in the private Folateng foyer. “Yes we have a few cockroaches here and there but we have put bells around their necks so that the patients know which unlit toilets to avoid.” Mildred, who still believes that E-Coli means ‘city of gold’ in ‘one or another language’, feels that there is no problem so disgusting that it cannot be solved by covering it with a black plastic bag.

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